If pain loves you, love it back!

Have you ever tried on a new exercise (like yoga etc.) or got a very nice body massage? Did you also feel those small lumps of pain in different parts of your body which abruptly come out and you tend to say, “OMG, I never knew I had pain in this part too”. Let me tell you something, these pains do not occur because you press the body there, they have always been there, you were just not very aware of them! But when you pressed, they started flowing out!

Doesn’t something very similar happen to us, in real lives?  We are not even aware of certain pains that exist and we go on living with them, making them a part of our lives, our personalities. We smile and laugh and do everything that looks normal to everybody everyday but when an old friend calls up randomly pressing ‘there’, the pains start to flow out, and we say, “OMG! You are talking my mind out. This is exactly what is happening with me.”

Pain is a very funny word and according to me, very creative too. ‘Funny’ because it can disappear anytime it wants, remain hidden or make you look crazy in front of others. (It’s so funny that it reminds me of “DEVDAS” – the forever sad character from Indian Bengali novelist ‘Sarat Chandra’). ‘Creative’ because it has given birth to so many masterpieces of art, literature and poetry. (I mean what percentage of artists create when they are super happy, if I am super happy I would rather go party and dance my heart out rather than write a poetry)

So something which is so funny and creative, I think it (or at least a part of it) should stay with everyone! It’s just that, we should be aware of its presence in ourselves.

Have you read of Latent heat in school? Well I have and as I remember, it spoke of a heat which remains latent (dormant) unless we create some force which evokes it. Similarly, the pain is the latent heat in all of us. Now you brood over it or turn it into a force- that depends on you!

Discover the pain in you and either USE it or remove it.

Get that great body massage often, the pain will go. Talk about that great body massage often, and the pain will make a great art piece!

यूँ ही किया करते हैं

कश्मकश में फिरा करते हैं
यूँ ही सुलूक बदला करते हैं
सोचते हैं,
और फिर अगले ही पल
ख्याल भी बदला करते हैं

सुलझे हुए धागों को
अक्सर  खाली बैठे
खुद में ही पिरोया करते हैं
उलझाया करते हैं
फिर सुलझाते फिरते हैं

ज़हन में कितना कुछ समेटे
हर किसी से मुस्कुराया करते हैं
पर ज्योहीं भीड़ छटे
मन में हर बात गुनगुनाया करते हैं

आजकल कुछ यूँ ही फिरा करते हैं
बस यूँ ही किया करते हैं! 

उथल पुथल

जानते हो,

मन की उथल पुथल किसे कहते हैं ?

जब दूर से आती अज़ान की आवाज़ भी बगल के कमरे से ही आती लगे,

शांत ठंडी बिखरी रेत भी खुद की गर्मी से पिघलती सी लगे

और बेहद सन्नाटे से उठने वाली सूँ भी कानो से चिपकती सी लगे

मगर दिमाग हांफ रहा हो ...,

के इतने ख्यालों को समेटते समेटते , सांस फूल रही हो जैसे ;

और बिन साथी के भी बिस्तर पर ढेरों सिलवटें पड़ गयी हो जैसे

के बेफिक्री से भरे पूरे शहर में , एक कमरा फ़िक्र ने किराए पे लिया हो जैसे

उथल पुथल ,

उसे कहते हैं !

Inside

Because its always good to let people know what exactly you thought originally while they make their own interpretations of your Abstract (Art)! 

You now what’s a mesh- it’s a chilman – a wall with checkered patterns giving you every glimpse of the other side of the wall but yet, closed! In Indian architectural history especially in Mughal era, the chilman has been used in profound! Take The Taj Mahal of Agra, all its beautifully marbled terraces surplusly surrounded by chilmaned railings. Go to Jaipur’s Maharaja Palace, the guide will show you a room – the common Darbar-e-aam where the king used to sit and hear the public and just besides the king’s hot seat you will find a chilman – opposite which the queen sat – from where she could see and hear everything what the pupil had to say and give her opinion to her husband, BUT the public couldn’t see her clearly and could only understand her presence via her reflection from her shadow filtered via that chilman!

Closer view: The MESH- Chilman

So that’s what a mesh is! A wall, mind you, it’s a WALL giving the pretense to be a window but a WALL, though with a difference by design and logic. I really think they had this great reason behind innovating such a beautiful pattern – the reason to be able to see everything from within and yet be hidden and away from everything. (I wonder if Film coated car window glasses were inspired from them too)

In any picture, a photograph or a painting, there are two things – basic- the object and the subject. In layman language, the subject is the living person and the objects are the materialistic things taken in use of to support the eventual meaning of that picture.

Closer view: Subject & Objects

Here the objects are simple yet lovable (read addictive)  items – the wine bottle, the coffee mug, an earthen ashtray with a few fumes of the still dying smoke inside it and a few flickering yet steady candles. And the subject, well the person finds it easier to hide behind the big fat belly of the wine bottle!

From all the detailed description above ( which I didn't really plan to), I will sum up my own comprehension of this piece in a single line-  Somebody inside a maze with everything he loves around him but yet can only enjoy a view of the outside and is trapped!

But traps aren’t always a negative word; some traps are by choice too! Do you remember any of those film stories where the mafia loses all his men and is terrified for his death and seeks shelter in a prison so that at least his life could be spared! Same!

Life is anyway a trap, a BIG BIG trap, but we all live inside it, enjoying the beautiful picture outside it via our chilmans of dreams and fascination! And off course surround ourselves with everything we love, to be able to survive till the day when the door opens and we walk out of it….!!

PS- I did not have any clue or intent as to what I will make when I started painting this one! But the bottle came on paper, then the mug, then the candles (they are actually books, though they don’t look like), the person’s half hidden face and then the rest! But it’s always interesting to add up all your scribbles to make a complete composition!

Technical PS- I used 7 different brush strokes in this picture! 

Painted Hearts

Describing my painting "Painted Hearts" here

"कभी कभार कई टुकड़े करने पड़ते हैं दिल के

ताकि हर इश्क को थोड़ी थोड़ी जगह दी जा सके"

Everybody falls in love at least once in their lives but most of them fall twice, thrice and even more! But each time there is a new love, there is a space shared in the heart.
Now by God's grace, we all have only one heart and we need to accommodate all the loves we had/have in the same lil heart. So what do we do, we borrow some space from the brain- the mind.  And thus always have TWO much on the mind!


This art piece shows a heart - a broken (rather shared) one- into two pieces - each piece occupied by a lady. And both of them are on the mind of a person.

There are way too many colors in this painting but with a reason- When one person adds so many colors to our lives, then if there are multiple , wouldn't life be like this? Extra Colorful! Also too many colors here imply the colorful character of the person always juggling between more than one thought on his mind. Won't his own heart be colorful (Painted) enough to be able to focus on more than one person in life?

An interesting fact remains that at least one of the two ladies sharing the heart know the reality (that's why the lady with Blue hair looks at green hair lady in the painting) and still sticks to her due space in the "Painted Heart".

But the people who can do this, like have two much on mind and still  love and focus equally, hats off to you guys! Great Management skills are required for this one. And off course a "Painted Heart" is all what you need.


PS- I am not sure People with Painted Hearts know a word called "Guilt"

Confessions!

We do them and yet don’t, many times! It depends, upon the consequences- which we calculate mentally, before doing them! Less loss, ok, here I confess! Huge loss, which can’t be fixed- Alright, I am never going to do this one and keep it hidden like a precious stone of memoir thrown in the ocean!

Should I, Shouldn't I?

How do confessions originate- have we thought of it – ever? Well, they come from our will power! “Resistibility” is the word if I may put it aptly. Had I resisted before that moment, it would have never been that moment and hence no further thinking, no traumatic heartburns, no choking guilt and hence no confessions.

But as a matter of fact, we don’t bloody resist! MANY TIMES! A funny thing here is that even while resisting (or not resisting for that matter) we are calculating, in our heads, the fun we are going to have, the pleasure we will get if we don’t resist. So if we resist, we regret, if we don’t, we still regret! 

Its just that 

No resistance > Pleasure>Guilt>Confession>Consequences 

Resistance> No pleasure>Regret (Consequence)

So basically there is no way out!!

So isn't that better, to not resist, commit the crime, enjoy and then regret about it? At least you had the pleasure right? And then as per your mental calculation of consequences, you may further decide to or not to confess the same.

And let me just add to clear the airs, its not the confession which people do to a priest in a church or in a temple who don't do any harm in return to them, Its just an easy way of melting away the guilt  overload by not directly confessing it to the person to whom they have done wrong. Since they know that priest will just nod listening to them they go ahead and so called confess, but that is NOT a confession. A confession will be one if made to the victim , to the person who is in capacity to actually make you face the consequences. And if you think its too much if a consequence, chuck it, don't confess!! But try stop living with it, try to avoid their multiplication & resist at times! After all, we cant have all the fun right! 

But......I think I still don’t have a concrete answer to this one! If anyone reading this has, please do let me know. Confess!!!!

One Quarter Down!

I am completing a quarter today- wait, not the quarter of a tinted and spirited bottle but a quarter of my life- and its Gross okay!

Few days back I noticed one grey strand in my not-so-luscious wavy hair and it brought to my notice that it’s not far when I will also turn old and sour! And lately I have been an ardent fan of “Grey’s Anatomy” and it often occurs to me that I might meet an accident someday just abruptly, so I thought it was the perfect time to write my own will!

Will…?? Yes, well a Will! In which you give anything of your own by your own will – yes I am talking about that same will!

A few of my friend were amused at this idea and in turn asked me what do you have as such that you are writing a will and I answered them with an airy expression that “Not everything is about money  in life”! So here we go;

I have a (rather two) cupboards full of clothes- I would want each of my special friends to pick one dress which I ever wore with them and hang it in their cupboards, like the way it’s done in Brokeback Mountain movie- so that they can always remember me the way I was with them (and in the same clothe size). Same goes for the shoes and bags!

All my gadgets and gold and cash goes to my dear BF (he secretly expressed his interest in the same one day). Also I will let him take all the pending bills too!( Life Revenge :D).  My toys (yes I still have teddy bears and 13 dolls as my secret possessions) go to my next generation i.e. to the kids in my family.

And the most important thing- my DIARY (rather diaries) full of poems and my passion. They go to one person, a very dear friend who has always admired them – with the copyrights too! So that one day he publishes a book out of them and plays in the cash ;)

And rest everything goes back to my parents – don’t worry, despite of all above there is still much left in the room! And because they will be the only ones who would keep and cherish every small thing of mine close to their hearts!

I always wanted to have either a Catholic wedding or a funeral! Since I don’t have my love interest in a catholic, I wish to go for the second option.

Talking about my funeral –I would prefer to be buried in a classic chocolaty chestnut coffin with pink satin inside to lie on! And I will want all my friends to gather together – the dressing theme be obviously “pink” and everyone should make merry! I don’t mind if you all go merry-go-round but well that’s how it is!

But given that, I am not dying so soon and that life has to do a lot more damage to me before I can finally get rid off it, I assume to read this when I complete another quarter of my life- and may be just laugh it all off! May be I won’t be writing anymore then or I might be a very famous Bookie award winner; may be all my clothes would have retired by then and I may not be able to fit into them ever; whatever happens then will not be same like right now!

So I am just preserving all what I have right now – So that I can scroll down my blog 25 years later and have a few pink butterflies tinkling me!

Cheers to whoever read this!

-          Aakriti ( Kaveesha) , 06^th August 13’

PS- Since I assumed I will be very busy today, I wrote this piece yesterday itself! :P

Half Mesmerized

There are habits – old ones and the new ones, habits that we have lived with for years with and habits that we have recently acquired. Old ones become addictions and new ones become passion. Old ones are the ones we no more think about, they are like reflexive actions and the new ones, we long for them, we try to seek them – to get them into our systems.

Old habits – they are realized when they seem to be sneaking away , when one fine day we suddenly discover we are no more doing them or rather not doing them consciously , they are just happening – themselves- like an auto button!

New ones- we love them, we crave for them, we take conscious efforts for them and try to pull them – towards us and even if they are off the sight a second, we miss them – terribly!

So it becomes a war between addictions and passions! Addictions- something that we can’t live without and passions- something we don’t want to live without!

But passions might fade away if not nurtured, kept like a baby or even if not thought about for some time. Addictions have been there since forever. They are more like need of the body than the soul – after all we have tamed our bodies to be habitual of them. Passions- they rock our ecosystem – brains, hearts and souls. Most of the thinking goes in thinking about the passions. But if we consider the cumulative account of the thinking gone in both of them, addiction cannot be defeated by passion.

And then we are left midways, we are in a puddle of dilemma and have no idea which way to complete; we are almost mid ways both ways. We can’t leave addictions and are unable to leave the passion. We are left bedazzled, like a leg on one boat and the second on another – and deep down we know, this will certainly not take us anywhere. So basically, neither we enjoy our addictions anymore nor we can really do anything to fulfill the passions. 

So what do we do?

We enjoy only half the fun, we see only half the beauty and we feel only half the ecstasy.

We are left Half Mesmerized!

PS- Old habits die hard! 

तीन एहसास

बीती रात भीगी थी कुछ उम्मीदों के सैलाब में ;
आज की शाम भी कुछ नम ही गुज़री उन्ही उम्मीदों के ख्याल में 


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


महफूज़ करना इन लम्हों को बेशक़ ये भागते से नज़र आएंगे 
भर लेना किसी खाली शीशी में कुछ अंश तो कम से कम तेरे संग रह जायेंगे 


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


इश्क महफूज़ किसका हुआ है आज तक जो तेरा ही होगा, 
इसका एक जुर्म ही यही है कि बस ये ठहरता नहीं है 

Hope is the only Dope

I just know
that I can see the start of it all-
The one which is sure to crumble me
and won't leave me unaffected

The end is far & misty
but I have a walking stick
of my faith and the love of my folks,
to lead me through the fog &...
I have my thank u note already ready for the best!

My fingers will be crossed,
for the better and the best
for their happy souls and my ultimate peace
and I don't wish to pretend this time
for I take it all destined,
and still pray for a beautiful destiny in hold

Let the best happen for the rest of it all
let the end overshadow the beginning of this misery
and then I will say

I have seen it all!

The Ray of Hope #KaveeshaKlicks

भीगे एहसास

जब मन पहले से

भीग रहा हो एहसास में
और ऊपर से बरसात
हो जाये इस इत्तेफाक में

आँखें ढूंढे कोई छाँव ,
सर छुपाने के सरफ़राज़ में
और ढ़ेरों कोशिशों बाद मिले
छितरी पत्तियों वाला एक अधनंगा पेड़
जो खुद ही जैसे पनाह चाहता हो
किसी मांगे हुए लिबास में,

फिर क्या उम्मीद और क्या प्यास,

एहसास भीग गए अब तो बरसात में
इत्तेफाक गल गए
आज इस मांगे हुए, पुराने लिबास में !!

It’s only you who is responsible for your “happiness”

Life consist of situations, decisions, choices and consequences and all this for what- “happiness”

We might be ruled over or dominated or even influenced or even emotionally controlled, at times, to make certain choices in different situations and thereby to sustain its consequences. Don’t let yourself suffer that!

Yes, I will say that again- Don’t let yourself suffer that! 

Our lives are not just about us , they are a complex mix of so many people around, our families, friends, people we fall in love with, people we have secret crushes on , people who are in love with us and we aren't , those we admire and those we hate but eventually it’s about “us” ! Whatever we do has a certain impact on all of these people but ultimately who suffers or enjoys is “us”!

True happiness can come only by the choices we make- uninfluenced and uncontrolled by any emotional trauma. Happiness which comes otherwise is only a satisfaction which comes by the sacrifice of making others happy!  We need to be able to differentiate in the two.

People whom I talked about above, these are off course important people but are they really going to be victim of the consequences? No! They will just stand by you, with sad and sympathetic faces but it’s only you who will suffer.

So, it’s essential to realize that the only person most important in your lie is you yourself! Nobody else is going to face the eventual outcomes. These people, it’s not their fault that they sense different consequences and try to influence your decisions because they love you. But, it’s equally important to realize that however deep they might love you, they may not be the right people to help you make the crucial decisions of life! Sometimes, there is nobody to think of your happiness because everyone is busy thinking of the consequences, at that time, make sure, you stand up for yourself. Make sure you do everything to save your happiness, irrespective of the consequences, irrespective of influences.

Take the call, decide for yourself and experience the real happiness – so what if it comes with a little consequence. At least it won’t be the side effect of sacrifices! 

Remember - Eventually its only about "you"!!

A letter to my muse

Missing you - right now!

And I am confessing- I have kind of a selfish motive behind! I am missing my muse- I am missing my writing!

I will not behold myself to tell u how I miss those amazing moments of ours where we sat for so long  and discussed point of views, relationships n poetry!

According to wikipedia, there r two kinds of love- ishq-e-haqiqi and ishq-e-majazi but I say there's one more kind of love which I have always called - an intellectual affair-- a love affair that goes between two minds rather than hearts!

Hearts are foolish beings! Minds are men whereas hearts are women.They don't think- they just know how to love, care and caress!! They are the followers like the ones which are seen in the herd of a cattle! They follow the mind like an innocent sheep. They are givers and always get all the sympathies of the world!

Minds- they lead!! Simple and straight! They apply logics and think of consequences! But what if they are lead by another one- will the heart refuse to follow? Never!

Such is an intellectual affair where over and above the hearts or bodies, the mist happens between the two brains who wander in the similar directions! The two in which both apply logics but similar ones - there is appreciation more than love, wit more than dialogues and 'connect' more than an actual intercourse.

We share the same frequencies if not telepathies, we are each others' muses and we both know that, we even have adapted each others way of expressions but it hardly matters! What matters is the same page on which we both stand like headers n footers!

Love is supposed to complement n not to supplement!!

I miss the laughter on those silly jokes which u cracked n I crashed; those adrenaline rushes which occurred when u said something I was about to say n those 'timing' factors which I may rest not to say!

At this point I am also thinking of our coffee meets- when I being a total 'tea-lover' was out there sipping hot coffee with you - just because you were a 'tea-hater'!  Because it was never the beverage but the company to me which mattered the most!

With sharing, laughing and admiring in eyes, brains & hearts- unsaid n yet understood things-- I am missing u!!

इबारतें (3)

इबारतें थमीं हैं ,

आजकल,

इबादतें बदलाव पे आमादा हैं ;

मेरे हज की गलियों के नक्श 

शायद किसी पुराने संदूक में,

आराम फ़रमाते होंगे ,

मगर गलियां मुझे याद हैं; 

हर आहट समेटती ,

इन पन्नों की गिनती ख़त्म होने पे है 

मगर ये बदलती इबारतें, 

मुझे मेरे हज की गलियों में 

बार बार धकेल आती हैं;  

इबारतें अब भी थमी हैं, 

इबादतें मगर, 

रोज़ाना बदल रही हैं | 

And Ibaratein part 3 is here- after 4 months of Ibaratein 2 

A few words have become family to this series, featuring themselves in every post but the connection keeps on changing! 

I am not sure i will write other parts to "Ibaratein" series or not but am sure if I do, teh thread will be seen, strong and long! 

Read Ibaratein 1 here!! 

इबारतें : Writing
इबादतें: Prayers
नक्श:Map
बेबाक:Frank

किस्मत

किस्मत ग़र बिका करती दुकानों में, 

तो सोचो कीमत क्या आंकी जाती 

ख्वाहिश तो सब करते थोड़ी थोड़ी खरीदने की ,

पर हैसियत फिर आड़े आजाया  करती; 

किस्मत की कीमत भी फिर, 

शायद किस्मत जैसी ही हो जाती 

दाम चुकाने के लिए 

फिर थोड़ी किस्मत की दुआ की जाती ;

फख्र करें इसके बदले 

थोडा सुकून हासिल हो जाता मुफ्त में 

तब दुआएं क़ुबूल हुआ करती 

कीमत और किस्मत काश बेगैरत होती !

Peace Is Sleeping #KaveeshaKlicks

इबारतें (2)

Ibaratein

इबारतें बदल रहीं हैं,
मगर इबादतें वहीँ थमी हैं
मेरे हज की गलियों के नक्श,
आज भी वैसे के वैसे हैं
मगर शायद गलियां बदल रही हैं
इन पन्नो की सिलवट,
आज भी हर आहट समेटती है
पर ये बदलती इबारतें,
हर बार कुछ नए नक्श
उकेर ही देती है;
इबादतें थमी रह जाती हैं
इबारतें बस,
नयी लिख दी जाती हैं !

This is in continuation to another very dear poetic piece of mine! Both are called "Ibaratein" 

When Ibaratein 1 came out of my pen , it struck chords of many people I hardly knew and since then, it was always somewhere deep down in my heart to restore the "connect" by writing a second part to it! 

Hope I did justice to myself!

Read Ibaratein here!

आरज़ू

"इश्क-ए-हकीकी  और इश्क-ए-मजाज़ी  में
फर्क फ़क़त इतना है
के एक में पाने की आरज़ू कभी ख़त्म नहीं होती
और दुसरे में कब की दफ़्न  हो जाती है!"


Ishq-e-haqiqi - Divine Love and Ishq-e-majazi- Earthly love 
The only difference between the two is that in one desire is eternal and in another - it begins only when the desires are already satiated!

Why I am writing a description of this sher- coz it inflicted quite a controversy when discussed amongst my poet friends. 

My Point of view:

"The desire to attain something is killed the moment you get it!"
In divine love, the lover knows he is never going to attain the beloved- the God, so the desire of still attaining him in some way goes on; whereas in earthly love- the poetry and the pain begins only after when the lover knows he will never be able to attain the beloved!

It  might contradict with many point of views out there in the world! if it clashes with yours, let me know! Drop your interpretation of the sher in the comment box- lets spread more meaning to love and poetry! 

महफूज़ लड़ियाँ

Sandook

कुछ हर्फ़ पिरोये रखे थे,
लडियां बना कर ,
अरसों से , संदूक में महफूज़ छोड़े थे

सोचा था ,
सदियाँ बीतने के बाद ,
वक़्त की थोड़ी धूल चड़ने के बाद ,
इन लड़ियों का मोल बदल जायेगा ,
शायद थोडा और बेशकीमती हो जायेगा ;

BlackPearls 

पर वक़्त हमेशा नहीं उड़ता ,
थोड़ी धूल जमी ही थी ,
कि व्याकुल हाथ उन सहेजी लड़ियों को टटोलने लगे,

पाया लडियां बिलकुल वैसी थीं ,
अब सोचती हूँ ,
कल सुनार को दे आउंगी ,
शायद अभी सहेजने का वक़्त नहीं आया है

The Moment Before The Moment

 You feel like reading? At times, yes! Why , because you just want to relax, may be you just want to lie down and do nothing , may be you just want to live some other character right now, may be you have taken enough and you are taking a little more, to make it enough-  just enough!

That’s what happens when you read! Reading is a process which generally happens to people while it’s ongoing, while they are actually reading it – thinking what the author is throwing at them and just living the characters mentioned in those alphabets! To other few it may also happen while its going on and also “after” it, they may well lie down in their beds and think of the characters or may be the story or the beautiful visualization the author created there or the “outcomes” as everybody might want to call it. But to some (maybe I am referring to the clan of people, I belong) it also happens before, before actually picking up a book and start reading it! The process actually starts from there- just when you felt like reading, just before the moment when you thought of picking that book up and get engrossed in it.

The reflective smile - the "moment"

Any moment is generally called a moment because of the things that happened in those moments – but actually the moment is just before the moment – that moment when you thought of making the next moment a “moment” – when you “FELT” like doing it , what you did eventually !

That is the biggest urge – that is the line which we cross, that is the time when the human sense called “control” would have worked but at times – it just doesn't works out! It doesn't let any command of your mind travel to your heart and the rest just follows! That is how most of the moments become moments – in real senses! And of we control it, it becomes another moment, but it still is a moment anyway, right!!

So absorb the most of “when you felt like doing it “– because that is the real moment- and rest what happens or follows – trust me – it was all destined!

Live it up – the moment before the moment!

तस्वीरों के लोग

"उन तस्वीरों को दीवार पे जगह देने का क्या फायदा ,

जिनमें  मुस्कुराते लोग अब ज़िन्दगी से रुखसत हो गए "

मकां

मकां कई बनते हैं 

मन में ही बनते और उधड़ते हैं,

दीवारें चुनती हैं 

और फिर भी दरवाज़े खुलते हैं 

दरवाजों तक जाने वाले 

रास्ते चलते हैं , बदलते हैं 

जाने कितने मौसम बीत जाते हैं 

पर मकां अब भी बना करते हैं 

एक दिन कोई उस मकां का 

पता पूछ बैठता है 

तो कच्ची सड़क पर पक चुके 

पैरों के निशाँ बताते हैं 

के दीवारें तो ढह गयीं 

पर रास्ते अब भी 

उन खुले दरवाज़ों तक जाते हैं!! 

“You are what you delete”

You are what you delete --- It’s a copied thought but so true! So many times, so many words are poured on a word doc and then backspace button un-does it all! Why- may be this piece of thought doesn't wants to go public, may be this part of the person doesn’t wants to be seen, or may be this emotion just wants to stay inside and grow bigger.

Hiding away is one aspect but hiding and yet growing it inside is totally another.

Situations happen-you do certain things in a certain way in that situation and then that situation – that moment is gone, but once that moment has passed, does it happens that you think you could have done something else in this situation – you could have behaved little differently – then things might not be the way they are right now- they may have changed – they may have been better – they may have been according to you, the way you wanted them to be!!

Holding back yourself – that’s what you did-then, in that moment- you didn’t blurt out yourself and now the moment has passed away. Holding back was difficult, painful rather, but did it help? What held you- you were thinking of the eventual outcomes of “resistibility” or you realized there are some common human emotions in you like ‘ego’ – whatever it was- you haven’t done justice to yourself- at least not in that moment.

Now the moment has already passed but the urge and the desire isn’t dead yet. So, you shall wait, wait for the urge to grow bigger within you – wait till the time when you feel that holding back happened for good, wait till you feel the moment was worth it and when you get the vibes that its time- just blurt it out!

But oh!- the wait seems to have missed its worth- here’s a new discovery within yourself—the time, desire and efforts that went in doing  everything to get it back seem to be a waste- the situation doesn’t seems be deserving enough – a wrong choice or may be a wrong realization- And ‘now’ another situation is happening to you- this is called “Helplessness”!

Nothing is worse than this feeling, nothing so handicapped – when you do it all, with your heart, mind, body and soul – but still- nothing happens!

And this is the time- when you write and delete-this is the real You!

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PS:

§  Live every moment, don’t miss, don’t regret-do what you feel like and not think like doing in that moment.

§  Nothings worse than Helplessness

§  Resistibility is a bitch

§  Remember, eventually, it’s only about YOU!