Harvard University recently ran this survey where they asked people
from different backgrounds, socials, status and demographics to figure out what
brings them happiness. After quite a few years of study, they null down to the conclusion
that the only real happiness came from Healthy Relationships. These
relationships are not just with your spouse but with everyone around you – your
neighbors, colleagues, your house help etc. etc.
Recently I also happened to meet this elderly lady, in her
50s struggling real hard to smile since her husband passed away and even after
1.5 years, she cried in the first 15mins that she met me. Her only question with
life now was – “Who will I cook for now?” and that put me thinking, this lady
invested her entire life serving her husband, cooking what he liked, living the
way he wanted, forgot herself to be with his side and now that he is off- she
is shocked, what is she going to do now, because she killed herself long back
with this marriage. She doesn’t know what hobbies she might have, her interests;
she wasn’t even very particular about the food that she liked herself- she was basically
nobody now! She also happens to have a son who is now settled in the US and is
willing to take her with him but she wants to stay in her husband’s house,
dwelling upon the lost memories. She doesn’t want to move on and I feel she
might not be able to – ever!
We humans, we are in a relationship even before we are born-
with our moms. First person to hold us in arms is our daddy! We come home from the
hospital and find there is a sibling too or a dog or a cat for that matter. We
are pushed into relationships before we know what it is! And this cycle never
ends – till the time we breathe our last.
Now in addition to these ‘compulsory’ relationships, we go ahead
and make some on our own. Friends, colleagues, neighbors. We also go to the extent of giving
a lifetime commitment and step into ‘marriage’ thinking it will be a Happily
Everafter! But does it stand true in most of the cases? No. People get separated
all the time, either by their will or because of others. People cheat, people
lie and why – to save another parallel relationship – Now is that one forever? Off
course, that too is temporary. They know it won’t get too far but yet they continue
the journey. And they spend their whole damn lives becoming the way people like
them; they are in a relationship with. And all this for what? – For “Happiness”
And they do one more blunder, they forget themselves. They forget
to make the relationship most important of all –the one with themselves. They
love too much – but others, they change- and for others, they dress – for others,
they basically do every damn thing – everything for others. Parents die,
marriages break, friends ditch, neighbors lie, colleagues steal and yet we think
this is forever ever? Hell No.
The only
relationship which is permanent is the one you have with yourself, Rest EVERY
relationship is temporary.
The relationship you have with yourself is an affair that
will last till your last. Some learned ones relate this ‘yourself’ to their
faith, their God! For them their faith is everything. Some are too much in love
with the art they practice and creating the artpiece will only be a love-making
for them! It depends person to person what they love apart from material people
and that’s exactly what I am trying to say here. Love Yourself first, people
come and go, but YOU will stay till you stay!
Make out to yourself, indulge in yourself, and love yourself!
Because eventually it’s
all about you
