Confessions!

We do them and yet don’t, many times! It depends, upon the consequences- which we calculate mentally, before doing them! Less loss, ok, here I confess! Huge loss, which can’t be fixed- Alright, I am never going to do this one and keep it hidden like a precious stone of memoir thrown in the ocean!

Should I, Shouldn't I?

How do confessions originate- have we thought of it – ever? Well, they come from our will power! “Resistibility” is the word if I may put it aptly. Had I resisted before that moment, it would have never been that moment and hence no further thinking, no traumatic heartburns, no choking guilt and hence no confessions.

But as a matter of fact, we don’t bloody resist! MANY TIMES! A funny thing here is that even while resisting (or not resisting for that matter) we are calculating, in our heads, the fun we are going to have, the pleasure we will get if we don’t resist. So if we resist, we regret, if we don’t, we still regret! 

Its just that 

No resistance > Pleasure>Guilt>Confession>Consequences 

Resistance> No pleasure>Regret (Consequence)

So basically there is no way out!!

So isn't that better, to not resist, commit the crime, enjoy and then regret about it? At least you had the pleasure right? And then as per your mental calculation of consequences, you may further decide to or not to confess the same.

And let me just add to clear the airs, its not the confession which people do to a priest in a church or in a temple who don't do any harm in return to them, Its just an easy way of melting away the guilt  overload by not directly confessing it to the person to whom they have done wrong. Since they know that priest will just nod listening to them they go ahead and so called confess, but that is NOT a confession. A confession will be one if made to the victim , to the person who is in capacity to actually make you face the consequences. And if you think its too much if a consequence, chuck it, don't confess!! But try stop living with it, try to avoid their multiplication & resist at times! After all, we cant have all the fun right! 

But......I think I still don’t have a concrete answer to this one! If anyone reading this has, please do let me know. Confess!!!!

One Quarter Down!

I am completing a quarter today- wait, not the quarter of a tinted and spirited bottle but a quarter of my life- and its Gross okay!

Few days back I noticed one grey strand in my not-so-luscious wavy hair and it brought to my notice that it’s not far when I will also turn old and sour! And lately I have been an ardent fan of “Grey’s Anatomy” and it often occurs to me that I might meet an accident someday just abruptly, so I thought it was the perfect time to write my own will!

Will…?? Yes, well a Will! In which you give anything of your own by your own will – yes I am talking about that same will!

A few of my friend were amused at this idea and in turn asked me what do you have as such that you are writing a will and I answered them with an airy expression that “Not everything is about money  in life”! So here we go;

I have a (rather two) cupboards full of clothes- I would want each of my special friends to pick one dress which I ever wore with them and hang it in their cupboards, like the way it’s done in Brokeback Mountain movie- so that they can always remember me the way I was with them (and in the same clothe size). Same goes for the shoes and bags!

All my gadgets and gold and cash goes to my dear BF (he secretly expressed his interest in the same one day). Also I will let him take all the pending bills too!( Life Revenge :D).  My toys (yes I still have teddy bears and 13 dolls as my secret possessions) go to my next generation i.e. to the kids in my family.

And the most important thing- my DIARY (rather diaries) full of poems and my passion. They go to one person, a very dear friend who has always admired them – with the copyrights too! So that one day he publishes a book out of them and plays in the cash ;)

And rest everything goes back to my parents – don’t worry, despite of all above there is still much left in the room! And because they will be the only ones who would keep and cherish every small thing of mine close to their hearts!

I always wanted to have either a Catholic wedding or a funeral! Since I don’t have my love interest in a catholic, I wish to go for the second option.

Talking about my funeral –I would prefer to be buried in a classic chocolaty chestnut coffin with pink satin inside to lie on! And I will want all my friends to gather together – the dressing theme be obviously “pink” and everyone should make merry! I don’t mind if you all go merry-go-round but well that’s how it is!

But given that, I am not dying so soon and that life has to do a lot more damage to me before I can finally get rid off it, I assume to read this when I complete another quarter of my life- and may be just laugh it all off! May be I won’t be writing anymore then or I might be a very famous Bookie award winner; may be all my clothes would have retired by then and I may not be able to fit into them ever; whatever happens then will not be same like right now!

So I am just preserving all what I have right now – So that I can scroll down my blog 25 years later and have a few pink butterflies tinkling me!

Cheers to whoever read this!

-          Aakriti ( Kaveesha) , 06^th August 13’

PS- Since I assumed I will be very busy today, I wrote this piece yesterday itself! :P