मुग़ालते

क्यों कर किसी मुग़ालते में रहें;
हैरत में जगें, बेगैरत में जियें ,

क्यों तवज्जो हो किसी एक शख़्स को इतनी,
के गैरहाज़िरी में हर लम्स, एक जंग सा लगे,
जज़्बात हो जाएँ हावी,
हर कशिश कैफियत ही लगे,

ज़हन को हर लम्हा सिए ,
बेसलूकी सहें, बदहवास रहें ,
क्यों किसी बेपरवाह इश्क़ की फिक्र में जियें,

क्यों नहीं रूबरू हों खुद से,
क्यूँ नहीं खुद से ही मुहब्बत करें,
न अश्क़ रहें, न ज़ख्म बहें,

क्यों कर किसी मुग़ालते में रहें?!?

Love and Other Affairs

Love Affair: Intellectual Affair: Sexual Affair

All three mentioned above are different, trust me! They are far apart from each other and distinctive too or exclusive in their own ways as I might put it!

We are humans and all of us possess heart, brain and hormones. All these three are just there to fulfill desires of each of them.

The sanest one considered socially is the Love Affair. It’s the usual one as we all know it, fall in love, feel emotional, feel attached, feel special, feel possessive, feel every emotion you know for that one person with whom you are not really scared to spend the rest of your life. Reciprocation is the key in this one and we are not judged for carrying forward this one. We do it since we step into teens and keep applying Trial & Error till we finally decide who that ‘one’ is. Generally this one ends on the note of marriage and there it goes away from your life!

The next level could be the Intellectual one. Here you don’t do anything. You just talk, just let your heart out. But you talk in every possible way, you talk with mouth (like normal people do), you talk with eyes (You can only do that if the other person is really looking deep in your eyes & admiring them too for that matter), you talk with heart and you don’t leave a thing behind in your heart or in your nostalgic lanes for that matter. You talk society, you talk philosophy, you talk of the stupid things you did as child and all those eve-teasing incidents which still sit heavy on your heart. You talk sense (well, mostly) and non-sense. You talk it all out and in return are being told that no matter how childish you talk, you sound so mature! You hear too (sorry I forgot to add that bit earlier) and you hear a lot. You hear things unsaid and you hear the rhythematic oscillation of their heartbeats. You hear what they are going to say next and you say it before they say it and that’s everything about this sort of affair.

In the third one, I don’t want to describe what happens but something surely happens which hasn’t been happening so far.

It might be possible that we have all three of these with one person or all three with three different persons. It depends on the capability of those other people; but if you are involved in all three of them, be assured you are capable of something extra for sure! Your ten percent might be somebody’s 100% and their 100% might be 20% for you. So it’s totally okay to experience all of these- ‘individually’ & ‘exclusively’ with different people.  As they say “Nobody is born perfect’ but probably YOU were and then it became an equally annoying job to find somebody as perfect as you..!! So go ahead.

PS- Started writing something earlier but had to leave it in the middle, would just add that patch here-

Sometimes we do what we don’t want to do and yet we do it.  Because it might be, that what we did, was something we always wanted to do , but we thought, we didn't want to do it, coz we  thought we shouldn't (Social Parameter Alert) do it!  

Better to do what you want to do, coz we are anyway not doing what we were supposed to do!  

#Love_Peace_And_Happiness_To_All 

यूँ ही किया करते हैं

कश्मकश में फिरा करते हैं
यूँ ही सुलूक बदला करते हैं
सोचते हैं,
और फिर अगले ही पल
ख्याल भी बदला करते हैं

सुलझे हुए धागों को
अक्सर  खाली बैठे
खुद में ही पिरोया करते हैं
उलझाया करते हैं
फिर सुलझाते फिरते हैं

ज़हन में कितना कुछ समेटे
हर किसी से मुस्कुराया करते हैं
पर ज्योहीं भीड़ छटे
मन में हर बात गुनगुनाया करते हैं

आजकल कुछ यूँ ही फिरा करते हैं
बस यूँ ही किया करते हैं! 

उथल पुथल

जानते हो,

मन की उथल पुथल किसे कहते हैं ?

जब दूर से आती अज़ान की आवाज़ भी बगल के कमरे से ही आती लगे,

शांत ठंडी बिखरी रेत भी खुद की गर्मी से पिघलती सी लगे

और बेहद सन्नाटे से उठने वाली सूँ भी कानो से चिपकती सी लगे

मगर दिमाग हांफ रहा हो ...,

के इतने ख्यालों को समेटते समेटते , सांस फूल रही हो जैसे ;

और बिन साथी के भी बिस्तर पर ढेरों सिलवटें पड़ गयी हो जैसे

के बेफिक्री से भरे पूरे शहर में , एक कमरा फ़िक्र ने किराए पे लिया हो जैसे

उथल पुथल ,

उसे कहते हैं !

Painted Hearts

Describing my painting "Painted Hearts" here

"कभी कभार कई टुकड़े करने पड़ते हैं दिल के

ताकि हर इश्क को थोड़ी थोड़ी जगह दी जा सके"

Everybody falls in love at least once in their lives but most of them fall twice, thrice and even more! But each time there is a new love, there is a space shared in the heart.
Now by God's grace, we all have only one heart and we need to accommodate all the loves we had/have in the same lil heart. So what do we do, we borrow some space from the brain- the mind.  And thus always have TWO much on the mind!


This art piece shows a heart - a broken (rather shared) one- into two pieces - each piece occupied by a lady. And both of them are on the mind of a person.

There are way too many colors in this painting but with a reason- When one person adds so many colors to our lives, then if there are multiple , wouldn't life be like this? Extra Colorful! Also too many colors here imply the colorful character of the person always juggling between more than one thought on his mind. Won't his own heart be colorful (Painted) enough to be able to focus on more than one person in life?

An interesting fact remains that at least one of the two ladies sharing the heart know the reality (that's why the lady with Blue hair looks at green hair lady in the painting) and still sticks to her due space in the "Painted Heart".

But the people who can do this, like have two much on mind and still  love and focus equally, hats off to you guys! Great Management skills are required for this one. And off course a "Painted Heart" is all what you need.


PS- I am not sure People with Painted Hearts know a word called "Guilt"

Confessions!

We do them and yet don’t, many times! It depends, upon the consequences- which we calculate mentally, before doing them! Less loss, ok, here I confess! Huge loss, which can’t be fixed- Alright, I am never going to do this one and keep it hidden like a precious stone of memoir thrown in the ocean!

Should I, Shouldn't I?

How do confessions originate- have we thought of it – ever? Well, they come from our will power! “Resistibility” is the word if I may put it aptly. Had I resisted before that moment, it would have never been that moment and hence no further thinking, no traumatic heartburns, no choking guilt and hence no confessions.

But as a matter of fact, we don’t bloody resist! MANY TIMES! A funny thing here is that even while resisting (or not resisting for that matter) we are calculating, in our heads, the fun we are going to have, the pleasure we will get if we don’t resist. So if we resist, we regret, if we don’t, we still regret! 

Its just that 

No resistance > Pleasure>Guilt>Confession>Consequences 

Resistance> No pleasure>Regret (Consequence)

So basically there is no way out!!

So isn't that better, to not resist, commit the crime, enjoy and then regret about it? At least you had the pleasure right? And then as per your mental calculation of consequences, you may further decide to or not to confess the same.

And let me just add to clear the airs, its not the confession which people do to a priest in a church or in a temple who don't do any harm in return to them, Its just an easy way of melting away the guilt  overload by not directly confessing it to the person to whom they have done wrong. Since they know that priest will just nod listening to them they go ahead and so called confess, but that is NOT a confession. A confession will be one if made to the victim , to the person who is in capacity to actually make you face the consequences. And if you think its too much if a consequence, chuck it, don't confess!! But try stop living with it, try to avoid their multiplication & resist at times! After all, we cant have all the fun right! 

But......I think I still don’t have a concrete answer to this one! If anyone reading this has, please do let me know. Confess!!!!

Half Mesmerized

There are habits – old ones and the new ones, habits that we have lived with for years with and habits that we have recently acquired. Old ones become addictions and new ones become passion. Old ones are the ones we no more think about, they are like reflexive actions and the new ones, we long for them, we try to seek them – to get them into our systems.

Old habits – they are realized when they seem to be sneaking away , when one fine day we suddenly discover we are no more doing them or rather not doing them consciously , they are just happening – themselves- like an auto button!

New ones- we love them, we crave for them, we take conscious efforts for them and try to pull them – towards us and even if they are off the sight a second, we miss them – terribly!

So it becomes a war between addictions and passions! Addictions- something that we can’t live without and passions- something we don’t want to live without!

But passions might fade away if not nurtured, kept like a baby or even if not thought about for some time. Addictions have been there since forever. They are more like need of the body than the soul – after all we have tamed our bodies to be habitual of them. Passions- they rock our ecosystem – brains, hearts and souls. Most of the thinking goes in thinking about the passions. But if we consider the cumulative account of the thinking gone in both of them, addiction cannot be defeated by passion.

And then we are left midways, we are in a puddle of dilemma and have no idea which way to complete; we are almost mid ways both ways. We can’t leave addictions and are unable to leave the passion. We are left bedazzled, like a leg on one boat and the second on another – and deep down we know, this will certainly not take us anywhere. So basically, neither we enjoy our addictions anymore nor we can really do anything to fulfill the passions. 

So what do we do?

We enjoy only half the fun, we see only half the beauty and we feel only half the ecstasy.

We are left Half Mesmerized!

PS- Old habits die hard!