खुशनसीब बदनसीबी

When its all easy around, you know you can stand facing each other, when its difficult, you forget all the pretense, reasons and just shrink together-to face it!!

आमने सामने थे अब तक, 

रुसवाइयों का आलम था, 

शुक्र है जो ये मुश्किल वक़्त आया, 

तुम सामने से चल के, मेरे पहलू में तो आ गए !!

“A Relationship..Doesn’t shines by shaking hands in the best times..It blossoms by holding hands in critical times.”

राहत

दूर मुझे करके ,
ज़रा सुकून तो हासिल हो जायेगा 

'वक़्त तो बीत जायेगा , 

मगर,

सिलसिला शायद बदल जायेगा 

It’s a glass half full or glass half empty

It could be ‘shocking’ pink for one and ‘just’ pink for another; obsession for her, madness for him; love for some, addiction for others; expression for me, insanity for everyone else! When a glass is half filled with water, it’s up to you to decide its half filled or half empty.

Life is no big puzzle like this glass in question. In simple terms, life consists of just two entities- You yourself and everybody except you. Near-far, close-distant, strangers or not-so-strange, that’s how you can categorize each and every single person you have met throughout your entire birth hood to evil hood. It’s just being stupid , trying to make out problems out of nothing , figuring them out and coming up with a self-satisfactory(only) piece of shit which you can elevate in front of your ‘close’ ones and that only soothes your own ego (and I bet you know it).

Troubles don’t exist! They are just mental illusions which we make to keep us otherwise refrained and happy. We give our not-so-satisfied souls a little reason to be unhappy about something and then we do everything we can to come out of ‘it’ only to be happy .And being happy here is the name we give to ourselves swimming against the currents.

Acceptance is the mantra. ‘Something is always better than nothing’. I am reminded of a famous quote here  'I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man that had no feet’(George Bernard Shaw)  Life is not that kind on everyone as it is on you. Stop grinning, sulking and bringing those annoying lines between your brows. Laugh so that people(from all the categories mentioned above) look forward for you. Smile because you are worth it!  Problems have a problem too; they stay away from people who say glass is half full!

So feel good, love candidly and giggle persistently .Guilt will shy away and who knows , the glass half empty can have some wine to ‘fill’ it up, if not water!

Hoping for the best myself!!

हार-जीत

इक कलम पकड़ कर सोचते हैं 

ज़िन्दगी की जंग जीत लेंगे 

क्या खबर पड़ने वालों को 

हम बहुत पहले मात खा चुके हैं 

सब्र

कभी फुर्सत हो ज़रा सी

           तो कह देना बस  इक बार इशारे से, 

शायद दिल की कहानियों को

            पल भर की राहत मिल जाए 

नए बहाने

When the nights are not just 7 hours without sun, the senses refuse to entertain any second thoughts and the silence speaks for itself.

"कागज़ और कलम से अब राते इंतिहा होती हैं 

हसरतों की महफिलों को नया ठिकाना जो हासिल हुआ है "

Sleeping SOULS

The symmetrically carved white stones that stood there with a perfect 6ft distance from each other, bearing the names of the souls sleeping like a baby inside them and speaking up for their fond remembrances could make me think of nothing else but SERENITY.

Photography: i-Capture

I could look at this wonderful sight where the souls slept across a fence of red wires intermingled with each other in diamond patterns. The day was bright and air had a haze of poise in it then! And all I could realize was that I was eye-witnessing a beautiful park (yes, I mean a park) where there was noise of tranquility, abstraction of illusions and contentment of attainment. The Cycle of life doesn’t starts in the womb where it’s just a scientifically visible lump of a new breathe. It starts from here, where  there is changing of clothes, the process of passing on the shell -somebody had been living in for so long, making it good/ bad /worse, bringing name or disgrace to this very own shell and then finally leaving it to others to keep it secure under a layer of soil forever!

The green carpet covering the faces was clearly extra green being nourished by various emotions in its roots. When a life ends, there are certainly emotions of sorrow and pain but there are many more sentiments that make that grass look even greener. Those are the sentiments of reaching to a certain point, zeroing in on at least something in life and putting an end to the zest which was never accomplished while living! Death is more about being able to travel finally to that much desired serenity than it is about grief! 

For the first time in life, I was not scared of the resting spirits; instead they were The Achievers to me who could find a destination in/after their lives. I travelled back with the thought of little brown-black birds perching happily over the graves, fearing only the pretentious innocence of life!

(Inspired by: Khirkee War Cemetry, Pune & My MusE)

खाली शामें

"मसरूफियत अब यही तेरे नाम पे कुछ अर्ज़ करूँ 

धूळ जमे पैमानों का , यही छलकता जाम है "

Chai and Champagne

The froth in the pan had boiled down to my cup…and I am all excited to let it flow through my throat as soon as possible..yeah its chai…my God of all times…good-bad, happy-sad, romantic-pathetic..it has always been my cup of tea that has relaxed me the most .Its an addiction to me, something which is really necessary for me to survive .God knows the reason why I fast for him (chai is allowed in fasting) and so somewhere I have started relating myself to it. Now that’s a twist, how can anybody relate or connect him/herself to a cup of tea.?? .well I surely can., a chai has got so many stories to weave around it , so many fragrances to feel about it..it is as Indian as I am..takes birth from the heart of the earth to which I am a child, it being my motherland.; the halo affect it passes through of its taste being judged by its brown colour as like my original Indian brown complexion ; .stands as a medicine for almost (I believe) every ailment, just like I feel so good about caring for people around me ; its aroma speaking for its character just like our behavior speaks for our own character and last but not the least the satisfaction and the comfort it gives to its beloved when brought to the lips…..that’s why I say.. it’s my’ God of all times’.

   
But is it chai which works for everybody. .certainly not!! So for that herd of the crowd  there is a Goddess .”.Champagne”. Goddess it is because satisfaction from a  goddess comes tagged with a sexual appeal. Sexual appeal, the champagne has plenty of it..indeed .It is more ‘not so Indian’ as we think it could be. Yellow for it adulteration, froth for its agitation, airy for its hollowness, flashy for its luxury but still lovely for its ability to arrest its beloved’s senses. Beloveds it has many, to which she is always a master no matter whether in bottle or inside!!

I sat down with my pen to do a write up on my last visit to Goa but what a cup of tea and a mug of champagne has to do with it…it has, a lot to do….!! Goa to me seemed to be a mug of champagne and most of the rest part of the country, of course chai. Not hesitant to mention when I stepped out my first foot on the land of Goa, I was fascinated like anything. The words of that moment were excitement, curiosity, and thrill. I was least aware of what Goa was all about but I wanted to explore it, as soon as I can. And I put the entire blame on the vibes of that place to make me think that way. Definitely the place has certain vibes which can make even an old heart feel like a young apple.
    I wont exaggerate if I say that the beaches there can drive anybody crazy and so do they did with me. It was the blue surf that I could feel under my foot , between me and the already wet sand as if it was creeping in me, no matter I wanted it to accept it or not, as fast as it can. One time, second time, third time, it kept on coming to me and going back just like a lover tries to pull his beloved back to him after an intrusion. It was deeply agitated but still quite, serene, it appeared grey but it was not hard to judge how many colors it has sacrificed to become this and that was the first time I realized in my life that there are things beyond my cup of tea which relax me, to which I can connect myself better . Somewhere at the back of my mind I also wanted to be like the sea, carefree, absolutely.
This was the first peg of the champagne that I tasted in Goa and it had already started spelling its magic on me..!

 The second peg of the evening came in an other form, in the form of the places there ,the forts. You can just stand at one nook of those amazing forts there, spread your hands wide , feel the vast waterbed ahead of you and you will actually feel the force of buoyant without even being in water! Isn’t that a magic again but that happens, just as in my case. I felt terrifically weightless, as if there was nothing in this world worth caring about, no issues worth to trouble me anymore and this became the second shock of my life, I was feeling airy, in this hypnotic environment. It was trying to take me somewhere I have never been..


The third and the last peg of my first experiment with this amazing drink came with a hick!! The nightlife of goa  and became something which I could never forget in my life, at first it was simply a dance floor and a wave of music that was there but I never thought it could be more engulfing than the sea was. While sipping this third peg I had a hit, and suddenly I discovered an absolutely new way to forget everything, to dump your thought process for a while by just being lost. Lost in the music, lost in the rhythm, lost in that atmosphere, there was so much noise that nobody could stay quite, to survive you have to shout and being loud by default kills all the itchy areas of your thought process. Certainly when you can’t think you cant be tensed anymore!

I was numb after my three pegs, done, exhausted, out of my senses and then I found a 6th sense reverting back to me...this was something I was never aware of but even in that state I could make out that this was the real me!!! I discovered an entirely new part of me...that is adventurous, fun-loving, carefree and hates thinking! Something  which my chai never introduced me to.
I came back from goa and with my luggage brought the thought that it couldn’t  always be  the same old good thing that can satisfy you which you think it might be doing well. Give time and explore yourself and know what actually satisfies you ,a cup of chai or a mug of champagne and then…a lot of things will turn straight. Now when I sit in my window in a nostalgic encounter with myself, I still love my cup of tea but the memories of the bubbles of the long and sleek glass ooze my emotions with a gentle smile!!

चलो इक बार फिर से, अजनबी बन जाएँ हम दोनों

कोशिशें रुसवाइयों की नाकाम हो जाएँ , इल्तिजा दिल की अब ये सारी है 

अजनबी बन के इक बार फिर से, कभी टकरा जाएँ हम दोनों 

Mixed bag of eMotionS

I stand by this beautiful water body: that is huge, infinite, engulfing, knows no limits, no horizons, just stretches till no fine line and finally gets smudged into its beloved; the sky. I want to have the feel of the moment, just want to be calm, quiet & disappear!!But just can’t do it. have several thoughts thundering in my mind simultaneously, I just cant concentrate and scared of ‘opportunity lost’ .I feel like running, running across the whirlpools, running away from what I am to reach what I should..I am satisfied but not happy, I am worried, I am itchy, disgusted about the consequences but yet serene about what took place. I don’t regret and there are no more buts’. I want to be the hose but I am pulled by the blue. I adore him but our personas are mutually so exclusive. I grip, he releases; I engulf, he sets free; I feel, he thinks. i know my destiny and thus try to stand calm that I am supposed to be.

                                  But ‘not everything grows under the shades of the big trees’. There are whirlpools at the loin of my skirt. Whirlpools that stand as a token of the numerous thunders in my mind. I desire to be different..Of what I am and what I should be. I tend to be happy about them but stopped by my concern of what people think of them.

Perplexive of my own dos and don’ts I happen to notice the new dam running on me. I am suddenly apprehensive. There is construction done to channel my current, to give a certain direction to it. To help me stay calm composed, tranquil. I don’t like the dam but still I have to accept it because I am conscious of my social strata. I am affirmative of people should think good about me and I try being accustomed.

                         But the story doesn’t get its due end here. The foe of my beloved- the rains come. I have the property to engulf and retain and the sky can’t see me knotting with somebody else. No matter if its just because of the ‘not so mutually exclusive trait’s that I and the rains share. Hence my desires are aroused, my water level touches the red marks on the walls of that dam and my urge dominates my logic.

I am free. I broke the channels. Going with the flow .I don’t know any boundaries .I am the lord of my own will. My embossment follows me. And as per my nature I engulf, I engulf so many lives, I am bewildered. Again decisive of what I am and what I should be. The rains are about to have the next kisser and I find myself alone. I am stoned, feel lost. I look up, the rains have left me all by myself but now the eyes of my love watch me. There is a sigh of relief. I turn back. People are relieved. I came as a flood , a flood of my fleeting attraction but going back as a relieved soul to get smudged into somebody who will  help me what I should be , and while crawling back I still think ‘what I am’.

Nocturnal Criminal

कुछ बातें रात की तन्हाई में शुरू होती हैं , रात के अँधेरे में ढल जाने के लिए 

दिन में जिनका कोई जवाब नहीं होता, और रात में जिन पर कोई सवाल नहीं उठता 

कुछ ख्वाब सुलगे होते हिं, जिन्हें हम दिल में दबाये रखते हैं 

आज लिख देंगे उन्हें इक कागज़ पर, क्या पता उड़ के वो पैगाम पहुँच जाये अपनी मंजिल तक 

Spooonfuls Of Regret

Life comes handy to us, at various stages, and the moment we surpass the difficult ones, we settle down to think of recalling the ‘right’ and ‘not-so-right’ fragments of what we did to come out of it. It’s a universal truth that not all of us are ‘so-very-right’ in all our deeds but what do we do then, we rebel! Personal declaration of insurgency against the whole world does not necessarily give us what we want, but yet we do it ,and do it with great vigor only to impress our own ego at the end of the day. But does that eventually provides us with at least if not the mission but the vision , probably not . Life still seems to us as the jar of spices wherein each element has its own say to sensualise the taste buds. So once your taste buds are aroused, you have to arrange for the flavor of their desire and there  comes the “working-by crook” syndrome. When you do something and you don’t like it (at least for the sake of your own moral) its time you should prepare yourself to put into your mouth the spoonfuls of regret. We may think of avoiding such set ups ever in our lives but they do come, necessarily and spoonfuls of regret become the ‘silver ones’ only when accepted with the inclination of a more lithe turn of mind , of converting the regret to an experience and not the gaffe.

"जाने कहाँ रख दिया"

कुछ लिखा था  ख़ास, उस रात इक पन्ने में 

जाने कहाँ रख दिया ,
जो कैद किया था उस लम्हे में 

जब साथ तेरा नहीं सिर्फ तकदीर था, 

जब मुद्दा तेरा सबसे हसीं था ,

ढूढती हूँ उसे बेतरतीब , सब कुछ बरबस उलट पलट के 

जाने कहाँ रख दिया , 

जो ज़िक्र किया था तेरा उन लव्जों में 

घडी तो रूकती नहीं, बेशर्म हो भागती जाती है 

पल जो मुट्ठी में भींच लिया, बस आह उसी की रह जाती है 

आज याद जब उस पल की आई 

जब तेरी फ़िक्र, मेरी ज़मीन थी

परेशान हूँ मैं अब भी 

जाने कहाँ रख दिया ,

जो एहसास अब नहीं मिलता

 औरों में ||