A letter to my muse

Missing you - right now!

And I am confessing- I have kind of a selfish motive behind! I am missing my muse- I am missing my writing!

I will not behold myself to tell u how I miss those amazing moments of ours where we sat for so long  and discussed point of views, relationships n poetry!

According to wikipedia, there r two kinds of love- ishq-e-haqiqi and ishq-e-majazi but I say there's one more kind of love which I have always called - an intellectual affair-- a love affair that goes between two minds rather than hearts!

Hearts are foolish beings! Minds are men whereas hearts are women.They don't think- they just know how to love, care and caress!! They are the followers like the ones which are seen in the herd of a cattle! They follow the mind like an innocent sheep. They are givers and always get all the sympathies of the world!

Minds- they lead!! Simple and straight! They apply logics and think of consequences! But what if they are lead by another one- will the heart refuse to follow? Never!

Such is an intellectual affair where over and above the hearts or bodies, the mist happens between the two brains who wander in the similar directions! The two in which both apply logics but similar ones - there is appreciation more than love, wit more than dialogues and 'connect' more than an actual intercourse.

We share the same frequencies if not telepathies, we are each others' muses and we both know that, we even have adapted each others way of expressions but it hardly matters! What matters is the same page on which we both stand like headers n footers!

Love is supposed to complement n not to supplement!!

I miss the laughter on those silly jokes which u cracked n I crashed; those adrenaline rushes which occurred when u said something I was about to say n those 'timing' factors which I may rest not to say!

At this point I am also thinking of our coffee meets- when I being a total 'tea-lover' was out there sipping hot coffee with you - just because you were a 'tea-hater'!  Because it was never the beverage but the company to me which mattered the most!

With sharing, laughing and admiring in eyes, brains & hearts- unsaid n yet understood things-- I am missing u!!

“You are what you delete”

You are what you delete --- It’s a copied thought but so true! So many times, so many words are poured on a word doc and then backspace button un-does it all! Why- may be this piece of thought doesn't wants to go public, may be this part of the person doesn’t wants to be seen, or may be this emotion just wants to stay inside and grow bigger.

Hiding away is one aspect but hiding and yet growing it inside is totally another.

Situations happen-you do certain things in a certain way in that situation and then that situation – that moment is gone, but once that moment has passed, does it happens that you think you could have done something else in this situation – you could have behaved little differently – then things might not be the way they are right now- they may have changed – they may have been better – they may have been according to you, the way you wanted them to be!!

Holding back yourself – that’s what you did-then, in that moment- you didn’t blurt out yourself and now the moment has passed away. Holding back was difficult, painful rather, but did it help? What held you- you were thinking of the eventual outcomes of “resistibility” or you realized there are some common human emotions in you like ‘ego’ – whatever it was- you haven’t done justice to yourself- at least not in that moment.

Now the moment has already passed but the urge and the desire isn’t dead yet. So, you shall wait, wait for the urge to grow bigger within you – wait till the time when you feel that holding back happened for good, wait till you feel the moment was worth it and when you get the vibes that its time- just blurt it out!

But oh!- the wait seems to have missed its worth- here’s a new discovery within yourself—the time, desire and efforts that went in doing  everything to get it back seem to be a waste- the situation doesn’t seems be deserving enough – a wrong choice or may be a wrong realization- And ‘now’ another situation is happening to you- this is called “Helplessness”!

Nothing is worse than this feeling, nothing so handicapped – when you do it all, with your heart, mind, body and soul – but still- nothing happens!

And this is the time- when you write and delete-this is the real You!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS:

§  Live every moment, don’t miss, don’t regret-do what you feel like and not think like doing in that moment.

§  Nothings worse than Helplessness

§  Resistibility is a bitch

§  Remember, eventually, it’s only about YOU!

"बदलाव"

वक़्त गुज़रता है , रिश्ते बदलते हैं
दिलों के साथ साथ , दिलों के डर भी बदलते हैं
किस्से, कहानियाँ, यादें बदलती हैं
शामों के साथ , फिर रातें बदलती हैं ,
एहसास बदलते हैं , अलफ़ाज़ भी बदलते हैं
इज्हारों के साथ , उम्मीदें बदलती हैं
इंसान और फितरतें भी ,
आखिर बदल जाते हैं ;

सिर्फ बदलाव ही तो है जो एक सा रहता है
इसके अलावा तो
सब कुछ बदलता है !!

"Because only Change remains constant!!"

नींद

"बहुत खुशनसीब होते हैं जिन्हें नींद नसीब होती है , 

कुछ पलों के लिए सही , बेसाख्ता ख्वाहिशों से निज़ात तो मिलती है "

वैसे भी

http://bit.ly/QRtbhz

रास्ते तो हमारे रहने दो 

मंजिलें तो वैसे भी तुम्हारी हैं 

साथ रहना मुनासिब नहीं , 

हाथ थाम के चलना, 

उस में भी क्या शिकायत है

क्यूँ खामखा की दूरियां हैं 

क्या अब भी कुछ छुपा हुआ दरमियाँ है 

ये साथ ही है , जो कुछ भी है 

कहने को मेरा अपना 

जो आगे होना है, 

वो तो अभी से बेगाना है 

कहने दो ना जिसे जो कहना है 

जो मेरा है , 

वो तो वैसे भी तुम्हारा है 

Bla(n)ck Hearts

The New cOlOr of heart is Black

With the new upgraded version of android, the androiders can now send a heart smiley (<3) in text messages and also can jump & show off about it. I just received one! And this little Black-heart icon takes me to yet another connect of the technology with relationships. Technology with relationships-what shit she is talking about? But yes,  I am talking about relationships with technology- how technology effects, influences and evolves any relationship.

Black & Blank Hearts http://bit.ly/QRtbhz

Communication is the mother to any damn relationship on this earth. As a famous tag line says -“Baat hogi tabhi to baat banegi” (when talking will happen then only something beyond might happen). In simple flowchart language- we talk>>know each other>>like/dislike>>result: Relationship (no matter what kind of). With all the state-of-the-art techniques and facilities of communication available, we often start taking people and their availability for granted assuming they are just a call away but in the process we tend to pile up  a huge heap of such taken-for-granted-pending calls that ‘they’ don’t remain anymore just a call away. They just drift Far Away!

We tech-savvy and so called new age people wonder how would it have been in black & white times , writing letters and then waiting for not less than 15 days for its reply; these days when I receive even a mail, I first go to ‘sent items’ to understand the context of the reply received. In even blacker and whiter times (ancient for that matter), the kings stayed away from home for decades in order to fight for his region and still returned back to find his wife waiting for him with all the love in her eyes; these days people go through a literal brain-wash if they are away even for a month and break up is the understood following route.

Our lives these days are very restless, changing places, positions and people frequently! We say “BYE(s)” very often now and add a “Stay Connected” to it as an understated suffix. But we don’t realize, when those byes convert into Goodbyes, forget connect we even loose contacts, and then when no one is left, we read/write such articles!

The original color of heart is supposedly Red which means a symbol of love, affection and warmth. In Black & white times, it must be actually red, when people really remain connected not by texts or calls or comments or likes but by hearts and thoughts! Now that everything else has become so colorful, the heart has taken a back seat! People love (or at least pretend to) till they see each other; brain works as the second heart and insensitiveness is named being practical.

Now I understand why android developers have kept the color of their Heart smiley- Black!

Off (the) Fence: Offence

Fences are installed to make sure nobody else intrudes in your territory, whether its land or relationships-enclosures are everywhere! The only way they differ is their appearance. The way they are imposed may only vary and what can remain constant is their presence.

Take any example of life and you will find the Fences there! A child is born and there are fences telling him what is right what is wrong, whom to play with whom not to play with; a girl goes out on a scholarship, there are fences prescribing whom to talk with, whom not to interact with; a new life when you start your career, fences of what to hide, what not to act!

All the relationships have fences too! There are standard benchmarks as per which the commitment towards a relationship is judged. Protectiveness and possessiveness are important ingredients of a bond but distrust is a separate phenomenon. Where acceptance and communication should stand first on approach, instead there are Fences-of delusion and disgust, and the moment you cross them it becomes the Offence!

Fences are no ‘new-world’ occurrence, they were always there! The great epic Ramayana could take birth only because of a fence that was crossed out of innocence and a decision taken by heart. So what if even after Agni Pariksha, the savior was rejected by the lady, the epic was written and the Fence is still debated upon!

Fences are meant to protect, not to uproot things with their sharp edges. Fences should define but not re-define the shapes! Fences can describe my territory to others but shouldn’t tell me what my territory is! It’s sad to say that fences don’t define my area of freedom; they cut into the margins of others and suddenly uproot me of my ownership! Here I cross the fence and it becomes Offence! Rhyming but bitter truth.

So if at all you were to define the boundaries, try to control the fences first. Implant them only when you are sure you are not intruding in other’s space. And even if you find them a little twisted, little distorted, don’t leave the land, and shift the fence a little! May be there is no need of going OFF the fence then and within the fence, there would be no offence!! 

A 'moment' Changes Everything

A decade long bond, which went through many roads, passed through many facades and escapades, fakings and confessions and still stands upright, structured  and re structured again and again. A relationship which passes the tests of time-trust-quarrels-admittance becomes the way the two of them are, towards each other, towards themselves.

There are long pages of a few important people in your life diary and you know this notepad is not spiral bound. Pages are not meant to be torn and flushed away, you like it or not, they will still be there, always and forever. They might fade a little but then comes a moment, when you go past ‘that’ page, revisit it and ‘that’ one moment changes everything. Everything here implies anything. Either you still have vision ahead for that page in your life or you just flip it over it, but if at all you do stop over that page for more than 2 minutes, be sure you have something still left to be read out loud from it.

These pages are the people rather the person(s), the souls that have mattered for so long in your lives, that seemed to be on top of all the priorities at one point of time in your life, so what if you don’t really text them every now and then today, you still have that feeling of ‘i-want-to-know’ how they are wherever they are. And these souls are not just the special some ones but also the Friends-the besties who always fought but still remained together; the people who could never fit into either of the categories –friends or specials but found a mid way for their own self, these guys are like the bookmarks in the life diary, so that to remind yourself on which page you were, they are the first thing you see.

Grammy-nominated artist David Gray’s “A moment changes everything” celebrates how a single moment between two people has the power to change everything about their relationship—a moment that takes their relationship to an elevated level.

So coming back to the moment when you somehow land on that page of your life, I say. Stick to it. That will be the moment that can decide what you will do ahead. I could have been fighting with my bestie all my life, getting irritated at small silly stuff but it might happen , that one blue day, when I am totally out of my nerves and would like to take a walk on a beach, the only person I could think of would be her .This one moment has changed  everything about her for me!

We just need to have ‘that one moment’ in our relationships-friendships and fights, to change it forever and for good. And when it comes, you just need to sense –this is it-the moment!

खुशनसीब बदनसीबी

When its all easy around, you know you can stand facing each other, when its difficult, you forget all the pretense, reasons and just shrink together-to face it!!

आमने सामने थे अब तक, 

रुसवाइयों का आलम था, 

शुक्र है जो ये मुश्किल वक़्त आया, 

तुम सामने से चल के, मेरे पहलू में तो आ गए !!

“A Relationship..Doesn’t shines by shaking hands in the best times..It blossoms by holding hands in critical times.”

हार-जीत

इक कलम पकड़ कर सोचते हैं 

ज़िन्दगी की जंग जीत लेंगे 

क्या खबर पड़ने वालों को 

हम बहुत पहले मात खा चुके हैं 

खाली शामें

"मसरूफियत अब यही तेरे नाम पे कुछ अर्ज़ करूँ 

धूळ जमे पैमानों का , यही छलकता जाम है "

चलो इक बार फिर से, अजनबी बन जाएँ हम दोनों

कोशिशें रुसवाइयों की नाकाम हो जाएँ , इल्तिजा दिल की अब ये सारी है 

अजनबी बन के इक बार फिर से, कभी टकरा जाएँ हम दोनों 

कुछ ख्वाब सुलगे होते हिं, जिन्हें हम दिल में दबाये रखते हैं 

आज लिख देंगे उन्हें इक कागज़ पर, क्या पता उड़ के वो पैगाम पहुँच जाये अपनी मंजिल तक 

लव्ह्ज़- ऐ-दर्द

कोई शिरकत है दिल में


कि आज तो क़यामत है


ये दिन भी है कुछ धुंधला सा


आज फिर किसी की रुवायत है


जो दर्द हैं दिल में


वो आँखों के मोहताज हैं


कुछ कहने की चाहत


आज है किसी बंद दरवाज़े में


बरसने दो इन आँखों को




शायद कुछ तो राहत मिले


ये दर्द है बड़ा हसीं


आता है कुछ ही खुशनसीबों के खजाने में .!

रिश्ते

एक काफिला ही तो होते हैं ये रिश्ते
आते हैं , गुज़र जाते हैं
कभी एक जगह ठहर नहीं पाते
बंजारों से , बेगाने से होते हैं ये रिश्ते
कितने अपरिचित, कितने अनजान होते हैं ये रिश्ते
कुछ पल को मिलते हैं ,
एक गर्माहट , एक मुस्कान सी देते हैं
पर समय के साथ
ये काफिले फिर उठ कर चल पड़ते हैं
कभी दिल न लगाना इनसे, कभी आस न जगाना इनसे
क्युकी आखिर,
एक काफिला ही तो होते हैं ये रिश्ते !!

सुरूर

नशा जब होता है , तो इक सुरूर सा छाता है 

दोस्तों की महफिलों में कोई अनजाना लुभाता है 

खुद को सँभालते हैं , पर दिल बहक बहक जाता है 

मिलती हैं जो नज़रें ,तो उन्हें छुपाया जाता है 

पढ़ लेते ही हैं वो , जिनसे कुछ कहना होता है 

खुशियों से लबरेज़ महफिलों में, दिल का कोई कोना रोता है 

कह उठते हैं जो दो लव्ज़, तो वाहवाह का समा हो जाता है 

घबरा के ये दिल , फिर 'उस' पे अटक जाता है 

सबकी नज़रें चुरा के, ये दिल फिर कुछ कहना चाहता है 

बीते दिनों की खुशनुमा यादों में, खुद को डुबोना चाहता है 

नशा जब होता है , तो इक सुरूर सा छाता है

नशे के सुरूर में ये दिल, तुमको वापिस पाना चाहता है