Phases

People are just phases

In the longer phase called life

In the shorter span called phase

Each arrives and so do they pass

Giving you what it was here for

Taking from you what it was meant to

But the memories linger

For many phases to come up

Some are fragrant, some are not

Most are bitter but a few still sweet

But you got to understand

That ‘the’ phase has passed

The person is gone

Not far far away yet far away

And when you feel too happy

Remember,

People are phases

And this too shall pass!

तू ज़िंदगी

तब चाहत थी माझी की
अब चाहत है किनारे की
किस रफ़्तार से बदलती है तू ज़िंदगी
क्या तुम भी हो गयी इन लहरों सी?
ये तो रुकने का नाम नहीं लेती
और तुम मुझे रुकने नहीं देती!
शिकवा नहीं इसे साझेदारी समझना
मुझे आदत है अब तुम्हारी इन हरकतों की.
तुम युहीं परेशां रहोगी इस समन्दर सी
मैं भी गिला करुँगी कभी कभी;
लेकिन तुम्ही से ऊब कर,
फिर फिर आया करुँगी..
तुम्हारे ही करीब!!

थोड़ी रेत लौटा आये हैं

हर बार जब जाते थे समंदर किनारे
थोड़ी रेत साथ लाते थे
यादों की, मुलाक़ातों की
कुछ धूल संग ले आते थे

इस बार जब गए थे समंदर किनारे,
थोड़ी रेत उसकी उसको,
लौटा आये हैं;
कितनी  हसीन थी पिछली ज़िन्दगी ,
वो  सारी, समंदर में छोड़ आये हैं!

किसी ने नहीं देखा  हमें ...
हम वहाँ से इस बार क्या लूट लाये हैं !
बस वो समंदर गवाह है,
हम इस बार उसका जादू साथ लाये हैं ...

जिसकी अमानत थी,
उसको वापस दे आये हैं ;
इस बार,
थोड़ी रेत लौटा आये हैं..!!

ग़ज़लों जैसा इश्क़

काश के ग़ज़लों जैसा इश्क़ हुआ करता

तुम  मय हुआ करते मैं साकी हुआ करती

सोचती बस तुम्हे,

तुम्हारे लिए ही नज़्में लिखा करती

काश शाइर जैसा  इश्क़ हुआ करता

बस उसी के लिए जीती, उसी पे मरती

तुम गिनते नहीं कितने जाम हुए

मैं बताती नहीं हम क्यों सरेआम हुए

कितना इश्क़ होता सोचो ज़रा

गर ग़ज़लों जैसा इश्क़ हुआ करता

वाकई , इश्क़ होता!

काश के ग़ज़लों जैसा इश्क़ हुआ करता 

Make some room – Move On!!

For the co-warriors, trying to move on!

Stuck with some old relationships, people, moments, night long phone calls or over extended coffees with someone from the past? And the same doesn’t happen anymore and you know it might just never happen ever again? PLEASE MOVE ON!

First things first, the good news is that you are not alone in this. An average human has a life expectancy of 65 years of which the first half is when you start exploring the doom of a lonely world called love. By the time you hit your late 20s, you know it wasn’t love or anything even in the closer proximity. You argue with yourself in terms of analyzing if it was just infatuation, compatibility, comfort level or just a habit and maybe then just abandon the topic saying – You don’t know what love is! By the time you say this, you have gone through multiple (atleast more than one I am sure) heartaches and the whole roller coaster rides. And now, it’s time to move on.

We all have a favorite pair of jeans right? Which no matter how much it fades or even comes apart, we just won’t stop wearing them. Moms and others might tell you that it’s time to retire this ancient piece of fabric now but you just won’t stop doing that. Then over the time, you gain some weight, so naturally, the jeans stops fitting you. Conveniently ignoring your fatal attraction for the beloved pair of jeans, your body has grown with time- High time to buy new jeans!  So we do that – get out and search for days to get the same fit and comfort our favorite pair offered. After days of making those unsuccessful visits to various stores and coming back empty handed, we finally manage to bring home a new one. This new one goes right on top of the old one in the rack. But still, the old one lies right there, peeking through the old one. A few days down, you take the old one and try it out. It might even fit this time but you realize it has actually gone too ancient for you to wear it somewhere outside. You fold and keep it back! Trust me when I say, it will just lie there, idol, for a very long time. Time passes by and we keep shopping for more. And comes the final day when you realize that there is not even a remote possibility that your baby can be of any use to you ever again. And going per the theory of LIFO (Last in First Out) it silently bids goodbye to your wardrobe one day.

Question to ask yourself now- Are you shopping? Or looking like a beggar in the same old pair of jeans?  If not, please go out and buy a new pair of jeans. Make that much needed trip to the store. Make some room in wardrobe and in heart, let life offer you new colors and get on with it. It’s as simple as that! When trying to quit something (or someone)“Cold Turkey” isn’t always the best approach. REPLACE!!

Make some room- Move on.

Heartaches

If only, we could own up our own heartaches and continued loving, no matter what it takes......, how long it goes......., where it finally lands........!!

We are scared- of loving! We are scared just before sending that text full of emotions, we are scared to go out just in case the real heart matters slip out of a watery tongue, we are scared to sip coffees together coz we might talk out hearts out- and all this why? Because of “Heartaches”

Heartaches --- Ouch!  They come with every kind of love you know of! They will come and you can’t just ignore them. So should we just stop loving and having a real life? I don’t think so. Life is nothing devoid of love. Those butterflies in the stomach on a slight rub of hands accidentally, that is life; the feeling of caring for someone and getting the favor returned that is life; sharing nasty details from poop timings to how shitty the boss is, that is real life.  Should we just stop living then, just because it will, at some point of time bring heartache along? I definitely don’t think so!!

Hypothetically thinking, what if, we could just keep on loving keeping the worries at bay? Will it not bring consequences? Off course it will. You might have a hard time getting over it. You might even go on a sabbatical full of undesirable thoughts and insomniac nights. But won’t you get to think of the glorious butterflies then and smile a bit? Won’t you carry some beautiful memories forever? Then why not drop the ‘Heartache Phobia’ aside and live the moment- make the best of it!!

But wait, if you are already feeling too inspired by now, here is a little reality check. “Do it at your own risk” If you think you are man enough to deal with your heartache later on, then take the plunge because the one giving you those butterfly memories won’t be there to cry along. If you don’t think you are that kind of person- Sir, please leave right away! (But anyway it’s not going to help you, sorry to say)

Any which ways this world and our lives should never be short on love because this is the only thing which is our private yet shared. Don’t let the heartache stop you from loving. Don’t kill those butterflies just so soon!!

If pain loves you, love it back!

Have you ever tried on a new exercise (like yoga etc.) or got a very nice body massage? Did you also feel those small lumps of pain in different parts of your body which abruptly come out and you tend to say, “OMG, I never knew I had pain in this part too”. Let me tell you something, these pains do not occur because you press the body there, they have always been there, you were just not very aware of them! But when you pressed, they started flowing out!

Doesn’t something very similar happen to us, in real lives?  We are not even aware of certain pains that exist and we go on living with them, making them a part of our lives, our personalities. We smile and laugh and do everything that looks normal to everybody everyday but when an old friend calls up randomly pressing ‘there’, the pains start to flow out, and we say, “OMG! You are talking my mind out. This is exactly what is happening with me.”

Pain is a very funny word and according to me, very creative too. ‘Funny’ because it can disappear anytime it wants, remain hidden or make you look crazy in front of others. (It’s so funny that it reminds me of “DEVDAS” – the forever sad character from Indian Bengali novelist ‘Sarat Chandra’). ‘Creative’ because it has given birth to so many masterpieces of art, literature and poetry. (I mean what percentage of artists create when they are super happy, if I am super happy I would rather go party and dance my heart out rather than write a poetry)

So something which is so funny and creative, I think it (or at least a part of it) should stay with everyone! It’s just that, we should be aware of its presence in ourselves.

Have you read of Latent heat in school? Well I have and as I remember, it spoke of a heat which remains latent (dormant) unless we create some force which evokes it. Similarly, the pain is the latent heat in all of us. Now you brood over it or turn it into a force- that depends on you!

Discover the pain in you and either USE it or remove it.

Get that great body massage often, the pain will go. Talk about that great body massage often, and the pain will make a great art piece!

Inside

Because its always good to let people know what exactly you thought originally while they make their own interpretations of your Abstract (Art)! 

You now what’s a mesh- it’s a chilman – a wall with checkered patterns giving you every glimpse of the other side of the wall but yet, closed! In Indian architectural history especially in Mughal era, the chilman has been used in profound! Take The Taj Mahal of Agra, all its beautifully marbled terraces surplusly surrounded by chilmaned railings. Go to Jaipur’s Maharaja Palace, the guide will show you a room – the common Darbar-e-aam where the king used to sit and hear the public and just besides the king’s hot seat you will find a chilman – opposite which the queen sat – from where she could see and hear everything what the pupil had to say and give her opinion to her husband, BUT the public couldn’t see her clearly and could only understand her presence via her reflection from her shadow filtered via that chilman!

Closer view: The MESH- Chilman

So that’s what a mesh is! A wall, mind you, it’s a WALL giving the pretense to be a window but a WALL, though with a difference by design and logic. I really think they had this great reason behind innovating such a beautiful pattern – the reason to be able to see everything from within and yet be hidden and away from everything. (I wonder if Film coated car window glasses were inspired from them too)

In any picture, a photograph or a painting, there are two things – basic- the object and the subject. In layman language, the subject is the living person and the objects are the materialistic things taken in use of to support the eventual meaning of that picture.

Closer view: Subject & Objects

Here the objects are simple yet lovable (read addictive)  items – the wine bottle, the coffee mug, an earthen ashtray with a few fumes of the still dying smoke inside it and a few flickering yet steady candles. And the subject, well the person finds it easier to hide behind the big fat belly of the wine bottle!

From all the detailed description above ( which I didn't really plan to), I will sum up my own comprehension of this piece in a single line-  Somebody inside a maze with everything he loves around him but yet can only enjoy a view of the outside and is trapped!

But traps aren’t always a negative word; some traps are by choice too! Do you remember any of those film stories where the mafia loses all his men and is terrified for his death and seeks shelter in a prison so that at least his life could be spared! Same!

Life is anyway a trap, a BIG BIG trap, but we all live inside it, enjoying the beautiful picture outside it via our chilmans of dreams and fascination! And off course surround ourselves with everything we love, to be able to survive till the day when the door opens and we walk out of it….!!

PS- I did not have any clue or intent as to what I will make when I started painting this one! But the bottle came on paper, then the mug, then the candles (they are actually books, though they don’t look like), the person’s half hidden face and then the rest! But it’s always interesting to add up all your scribbles to make a complete composition!

Technical PS- I used 7 different brush strokes in this picture! 

Confessions!

We do them and yet don’t, many times! It depends, upon the consequences- which we calculate mentally, before doing them! Less loss, ok, here I confess! Huge loss, which can’t be fixed- Alright, I am never going to do this one and keep it hidden like a precious stone of memoir thrown in the ocean!

Should I, Shouldn't I?

How do confessions originate- have we thought of it – ever? Well, they come from our will power! “Resistibility” is the word if I may put it aptly. Had I resisted before that moment, it would have never been that moment and hence no further thinking, no traumatic heartburns, no choking guilt and hence no confessions.

But as a matter of fact, we don’t bloody resist! MANY TIMES! A funny thing here is that even while resisting (or not resisting for that matter) we are calculating, in our heads, the fun we are going to have, the pleasure we will get if we don’t resist. So if we resist, we regret, if we don’t, we still regret! 

Its just that 

No resistance > Pleasure>Guilt>Confession>Consequences 

Resistance> No pleasure>Regret (Consequence)

So basically there is no way out!!

So isn't that better, to not resist, commit the crime, enjoy and then regret about it? At least you had the pleasure right? And then as per your mental calculation of consequences, you may further decide to or not to confess the same.

And let me just add to clear the airs, its not the confession which people do to a priest in a church or in a temple who don't do any harm in return to them, Its just an easy way of melting away the guilt  overload by not directly confessing it to the person to whom they have done wrong. Since they know that priest will just nod listening to them they go ahead and so called confess, but that is NOT a confession. A confession will be one if made to the victim , to the person who is in capacity to actually make you face the consequences. And if you think its too much if a consequence, chuck it, don't confess!! But try stop living with it, try to avoid their multiplication & resist at times! After all, we cant have all the fun right! 

But......I think I still don’t have a concrete answer to this one! If anyone reading this has, please do let me know. Confess!!!!

The Moment Before The Moment

 You feel like reading? At times, yes! Why , because you just want to relax, may be you just want to lie down and do nothing , may be you just want to live some other character right now, may be you have taken enough and you are taking a little more, to make it enough-  just enough!

That’s what happens when you read! Reading is a process which generally happens to people while it’s ongoing, while they are actually reading it – thinking what the author is throwing at them and just living the characters mentioned in those alphabets! To other few it may also happen while its going on and also “after” it, they may well lie down in their beds and think of the characters or may be the story or the beautiful visualization the author created there or the “outcomes” as everybody might want to call it. But to some (maybe I am referring to the clan of people, I belong) it also happens before, before actually picking up a book and start reading it! The process actually starts from there- just when you felt like reading, just before the moment when you thought of picking that book up and get engrossed in it.

The reflective smile - the "moment"

Any moment is generally called a moment because of the things that happened in those moments – but actually the moment is just before the moment – that moment when you thought of making the next moment a “moment” – when you “FELT” like doing it , what you did eventually !

That is the biggest urge – that is the line which we cross, that is the time when the human sense called “control” would have worked but at times – it just doesn't works out! It doesn't let any command of your mind travel to your heart and the rest just follows! That is how most of the moments become moments – in real senses! And of we control it, it becomes another moment, but it still is a moment anyway, right!!

So absorb the most of “when you felt like doing it “– because that is the real moment- and rest what happens or follows – trust me – it was all destined!

Live it up – the moment before the moment!

“You are what you delete”

You are what you delete --- It’s a copied thought but so true! So many times, so many words are poured on a word doc and then backspace button un-does it all! Why- may be this piece of thought doesn't wants to go public, may be this part of the person doesn’t wants to be seen, or may be this emotion just wants to stay inside and grow bigger.

Hiding away is one aspect but hiding and yet growing it inside is totally another.

Situations happen-you do certain things in a certain way in that situation and then that situation – that moment is gone, but once that moment has passed, does it happens that you think you could have done something else in this situation – you could have behaved little differently – then things might not be the way they are right now- they may have changed – they may have been better – they may have been according to you, the way you wanted them to be!!

Holding back yourself – that’s what you did-then, in that moment- you didn’t blurt out yourself and now the moment has passed away. Holding back was difficult, painful rather, but did it help? What held you- you were thinking of the eventual outcomes of “resistibility” or you realized there are some common human emotions in you like ‘ego’ – whatever it was- you haven’t done justice to yourself- at least not in that moment.

Now the moment has already passed but the urge and the desire isn’t dead yet. So, you shall wait, wait for the urge to grow bigger within you – wait till the time when you feel that holding back happened for good, wait till you feel the moment was worth it and when you get the vibes that its time- just blurt it out!

But oh!- the wait seems to have missed its worth- here’s a new discovery within yourself—the time, desire and efforts that went in doing  everything to get it back seem to be a waste- the situation doesn’t seems be deserving enough – a wrong choice or may be a wrong realization- And ‘now’ another situation is happening to you- this is called “Helplessness”!

Nothing is worse than this feeling, nothing so handicapped – when you do it all, with your heart, mind, body and soul – but still- nothing happens!

And this is the time- when you write and delete-this is the real You!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS:

§  Live every moment, don’t miss, don’t regret-do what you feel like and not think like doing in that moment.

§  Nothings worse than Helplessness

§  Resistibility is a bitch

§  Remember, eventually, it’s only about YOU!

Wikipedia & Perspectives

There is a Wikipedia definition available for almost everything existent in this world and there are alternate definitions present for the same words in the same world!

Little difficult to understand? Okay here we go- so type in Wikipedia- what is sea?? It will tell you that it is a large body of saline water n blah blah! But do you visualize the same when you say “sea” > I bet not! Just say this word “sea” and see what picture you get in your mind. There will be frames of sunsets, sunrises, silhouettes, people, waves , water stretched till infinity , sand and peace and I bet some can even hear  the sound of waves just at the mention of the word “sea”

So sometimes it’s not about what is already described there in the books, about things you don’t know- they are about what you think of them – what pictures you get in mind when you say their names! And that’s what matters – and that is what we call is a perspective!

This world runs on perspectives, which are individual, unique and exclusive to everyone! Mine may not match with yours but that’s what makes me a different person than you! And here we need to preserve them too- our own precious perspectives! Because in them lies our eccentricity!!

Perspectives tend to change, under the influence of people around, philosophies, something that looks attractive and even alcohol! Let them not change for anybody – ever!! The rights and wrongs of life are also perspectives! I might do the right thing but you might find it wrong! There are no boundaries – there are only perspectives – which define your own hemlines in life, relationships and attitude. We have people who play Wikipedia in our lives- tell them to stay away and believe on what pictures you get in your own mind when you say the name!!

Believe your own perspectives!

मेरा अज़ीज़ सामान

क्यों ऐसा होता है 

के कभी कभी घर से  निकलके 

बहुत दूर चलने के बाद 

याद आता है , के 

पीछे कुछ छूट गया 

कुछ ज़रूरी सा, कुछ अज़ीज़ सा 

जो संभाला था कई जतनों से 

वही बेहद कीमती सा, 

घर पर ही छूट गया 

अब् पीछे जाना मुश्किल है 

और आगे चलना भी मुनासिब नहीं 

क्या करूँ, दिल में बड़ी कश्मकश  है 

कुछ देर रुक जाती हूँ 

बीच रास्ते  में  अनमनी सी होकर थम जाती हूँ 

फिर कुछ सोच के, भारी मन से 

आगे बढ़ जाती हूँ 

पर मेरा मन , वहीँ छूट जाता है 

मेरा वह अज़ीज़ सामान , 

मुझे अब भी वापस बुलाता है 

Sometimes beautiful anklets hide the sour shoe bites!

It happens all the time, we don’t really look at them, caress them or give them their due importance, the importance and respect that they deserve to take us places , by far and by long, to miles and people and to uncertainties and possiblities!

Yes I am talking about our feet, those two supple flesh pieces , always being  the firm base, walking , suffering shoe bites to look good, washed and brushed with chemicals to stay clean, painted in different colors on tips to gloss and still ignored sometimes, scuffed in shoes ! Those feet are just like people of our lives which have always been there- always as a part of the firm base, as the RCC to the building and yet always taken for granted!

We all know, somewhere deep in our hearts, how we actually ignore some of the gems of our lives, think of their availability as their addiction for us , doing everything to them that they don’t deserve at all in the worst ways but still counting on them! We all have such set of people in our lives- who were and are, always by our sides- whenever we need them- and we know it!!

These people are the feet, who if ignored for a long time, can also hide themselves well behind a beautiful leather shoe and look good on the face! They can suffer shoe bites quietly  doesn't means to pack them in sour shoes always, because ultimately it will ache to you, not in the feet but in the brains!

So it’s good if we realize that sooner we start caressing them, realizing their importance in life , appreciating their every selfless effort for us and pedicure them well to gloss!!

And buying a beautiful anklet to add glitz to them will only make YOU feel better!Keep them happy, always!!

Your B’day, My Trauma

By job profile I call myself a Social media jockey which in simple terms means a person who is paid for handling facebook n twitter for a brand! Since it’s a media brand, I am supposed to wish celebs publically on my page on their B’days, death days, anniversaries, pregnancy, child birth and divorces- all for their good life ahead! And in the procedure I do a lot of things which I don’t like or find enough interests in!

It was Amitabh Bachchan’s  B’day today! Apparently he is considered the king of bollywood .  To be honest, I am not a (or an may be) Amitabh Bachchan fan! Means yes I would be excited if I see him in front of me but not excited to actually go and see him (as if I can) still, he doesn’t excites me as a matter of fact!

But to save my job I need to do some extraordinary facebook post so that thousands of people come and ‘like’ it and so that my boss looks up at me with pleased eyes! Since yesterday the articles in Pune Times about Big B have been worrying me and I have been thinking what to post, how to show my so called “creativity”. I just bought a BlackBerry you see and to its worst exploitation, I am also googling “10 amazing facts about Amitabh bachchan” at 1.00 am but in vain! I am petrified coz the 10 points I jotted down were already shown by India Tv this morning slot in their ticker. Makes me worry double now!!

At this moment I just wanted Amitabh to see my You-Did-This face! It’s you because of whom I instead of BBMing right now, am goggling and getting facts about you such as “you can write with both hands” or that “you were named Vijay in 17 of your films” I am sure if you saw me right now, you would have offered me another job (out of pity or social service) as one of your assistants or probably you would have said something super fantastic in your flawless hindi and people would have simply awed at you!!

If I could ever, I would suggest these big shot guys to keep these public matters such as B’days to themselves, it really troubles people with small media jobs! We have clear extra work you see! But okay, I won’t blame you anymore, you are turning 70 and I will still wish you to go for another 10-20 years on a human note.

So keep writing with both your hands (apparently that doesn’t matters because now all of us write with both hands- typing I meant- who writes in paper now)

P.S. I did a facebook post on your bday- A for Amitabh, B for Bachchan , C for Cinema…Z for zanjeer| Result : Pappu paas ho gaya!

PS(2) The above also is stolen, sorry but really couldn't think of you in any way!

Happy B’day Amitabh Bachchan!

इरशाद किया है

जो बात बाहर आई है,
 न जाने कितने  दिनों से पक रही थी 

मुट्ठी तो बंद थी ,

मगर रेत फिर भी रिस रही थी 

ज़र्रा ज़र्रा समेत के,

 इन लव्जों को पिरोया है 

नज़्म नहीं ये तो,

 मेरे ज़ेहेन का  इक रोयाँ  है 

मिल जाये कोई 

जो साफ़ दिल से इल्तिजा करे 

पकी हुई भूख का

 ये तो पहला निवाला है 

There are moments when you have so many good things around you and you can’t capture them all and keep them forever, u can’t click a photograph or possibly u can’t take down the notes and all you can do is open up yourself to the limit even you don’t know. Hear it will all your senses and absorb the moment. Take mind pictures and just live the moment!!

This poem is inspired by one of my most eventful and candid conversation with Irshad Kamil (a renowned Poet/lyricist) And i could see that more or less all poets cross the same roads in their lives! Thereby naming this poem after his name!! 

Bla(n)ck Hearts

The New cOlOr of heart is Black

With the new upgraded version of android, the androiders can now send a heart smiley (<3) in text messages and also can jump & show off about it. I just received one! And this little Black-heart icon takes me to yet another connect of the technology with relationships. Technology with relationships-what shit she is talking about? But yes,  I am talking about relationships with technology- how technology effects, influences and evolves any relationship.

Black & Blank Hearts http://bit.ly/QRtbhz

Communication is the mother to any damn relationship on this earth. As a famous tag line says -“Baat hogi tabhi to baat banegi” (when talking will happen then only something beyond might happen). In simple flowchart language- we talk>>know each other>>like/dislike>>result: Relationship (no matter what kind of). With all the state-of-the-art techniques and facilities of communication available, we often start taking people and their availability for granted assuming they are just a call away but in the process we tend to pile up  a huge heap of such taken-for-granted-pending calls that ‘they’ don’t remain anymore just a call away. They just drift Far Away!

We tech-savvy and so called new age people wonder how would it have been in black & white times , writing letters and then waiting for not less than 15 days for its reply; these days when I receive even a mail, I first go to ‘sent items’ to understand the context of the reply received. In even blacker and whiter times (ancient for that matter), the kings stayed away from home for decades in order to fight for his region and still returned back to find his wife waiting for him with all the love in her eyes; these days people go through a literal brain-wash if they are away even for a month and break up is the understood following route.

Our lives these days are very restless, changing places, positions and people frequently! We say “BYE(s)” very often now and add a “Stay Connected” to it as an understated suffix. But we don’t realize, when those byes convert into Goodbyes, forget connect we even loose contacts, and then when no one is left, we read/write such articles!

The original color of heart is supposedly Red which means a symbol of love, affection and warmth. In Black & white times, it must be actually red, when people really remain connected not by texts or calls or comments or likes but by hearts and thoughts! Now that everything else has become so colorful, the heart has taken a back seat! People love (or at least pretend to) till they see each other; brain works as the second heart and insensitiveness is named being practical.

Now I understand why android developers have kept the color of their Heart smiley- Black!

Off (the) Fence: Offence

Fences are installed to make sure nobody else intrudes in your territory, whether its land or relationships-enclosures are everywhere! The only way they differ is their appearance. The way they are imposed may only vary and what can remain constant is their presence.

Take any example of life and you will find the Fences there! A child is born and there are fences telling him what is right what is wrong, whom to play with whom not to play with; a girl goes out on a scholarship, there are fences prescribing whom to talk with, whom not to interact with; a new life when you start your career, fences of what to hide, what not to act!

All the relationships have fences too! There are standard benchmarks as per which the commitment towards a relationship is judged. Protectiveness and possessiveness are important ingredients of a bond but distrust is a separate phenomenon. Where acceptance and communication should stand first on approach, instead there are Fences-of delusion and disgust, and the moment you cross them it becomes the Offence!

Fences are no ‘new-world’ occurrence, they were always there! The great epic Ramayana could take birth only because of a fence that was crossed out of innocence and a decision taken by heart. So what if even after Agni Pariksha, the savior was rejected by the lady, the epic was written and the Fence is still debated upon!

Fences are meant to protect, not to uproot things with their sharp edges. Fences should define but not re-define the shapes! Fences can describe my territory to others but shouldn’t tell me what my territory is! It’s sad to say that fences don’t define my area of freedom; they cut into the margins of others and suddenly uproot me of my ownership! Here I cross the fence and it becomes Offence! Rhyming but bitter truth.

So if at all you were to define the boundaries, try to control the fences first. Implant them only when you are sure you are not intruding in other’s space. And even if you find them a little twisted, little distorted, don’t leave the land, and shift the fence a little! May be there is no need of going OFF the fence then and within the fence, there would be no offence!! 

Sleeping SOULS

The symmetrically carved white stones that stood there with a perfect 6ft distance from each other, bearing the names of the souls sleeping like a baby inside them and speaking up for their fond remembrances could make me think of nothing else but SERENITY.

Photography: i-Capture

I could look at this wonderful sight where the souls slept across a fence of red wires intermingled with each other in diamond patterns. The day was bright and air had a haze of poise in it then! And all I could realize was that I was eye-witnessing a beautiful park (yes, I mean a park) where there was noise of tranquility, abstraction of illusions and contentment of attainment. The Cycle of life doesn’t starts in the womb where it’s just a scientifically visible lump of a new breathe. It starts from here, where  there is changing of clothes, the process of passing on the shell -somebody had been living in for so long, making it good/ bad /worse, bringing name or disgrace to this very own shell and then finally leaving it to others to keep it secure under a layer of soil forever!

The green carpet covering the faces was clearly extra green being nourished by various emotions in its roots. When a life ends, there are certainly emotions of sorrow and pain but there are many more sentiments that make that grass look even greener. Those are the sentiments of reaching to a certain point, zeroing in on at least something in life and putting an end to the zest which was never accomplished while living! Death is more about being able to travel finally to that much desired serenity than it is about grief! 

For the first time in life, I was not scared of the resting spirits; instead they were The Achievers to me who could find a destination in/after their lives. I travelled back with the thought of little brown-black birds perching happily over the graves, fearing only the pretentious innocence of life!

(Inspired by: Khirkee War Cemetry, Pune & My MusE)

Chai and Champagne

The froth in the pan had boiled down to my cup…and I am all excited to let it flow through my throat as soon as possible..yeah its chai…my God of all times…good-bad, happy-sad, romantic-pathetic..it has always been my cup of tea that has relaxed me the most .Its an addiction to me, something which is really necessary for me to survive .God knows the reason why I fast for him (chai is allowed in fasting) and so somewhere I have started relating myself to it. Now that’s a twist, how can anybody relate or connect him/herself to a cup of tea.?? .well I surely can., a chai has got so many stories to weave around it , so many fragrances to feel about it..it is as Indian as I am..takes birth from the heart of the earth to which I am a child, it being my motherland.; the halo affect it passes through of its taste being judged by its brown colour as like my original Indian brown complexion ; .stands as a medicine for almost (I believe) every ailment, just like I feel so good about caring for people around me ; its aroma speaking for its character just like our behavior speaks for our own character and last but not the least the satisfaction and the comfort it gives to its beloved when brought to the lips…..that’s why I say.. it’s my’ God of all times’.

   
But is it chai which works for everybody. .certainly not!! So for that herd of the crowd  there is a Goddess .”.Champagne”. Goddess it is because satisfaction from a  goddess comes tagged with a sexual appeal. Sexual appeal, the champagne has plenty of it..indeed .It is more ‘not so Indian’ as we think it could be. Yellow for it adulteration, froth for its agitation, airy for its hollowness, flashy for its luxury but still lovely for its ability to arrest its beloved’s senses. Beloveds it has many, to which she is always a master no matter whether in bottle or inside!!

I sat down with my pen to do a write up on my last visit to Goa but what a cup of tea and a mug of champagne has to do with it…it has, a lot to do….!! Goa to me seemed to be a mug of champagne and most of the rest part of the country, of course chai. Not hesitant to mention when I stepped out my first foot on the land of Goa, I was fascinated like anything. The words of that moment were excitement, curiosity, and thrill. I was least aware of what Goa was all about but I wanted to explore it, as soon as I can. And I put the entire blame on the vibes of that place to make me think that way. Definitely the place has certain vibes which can make even an old heart feel like a young apple.
    I wont exaggerate if I say that the beaches there can drive anybody crazy and so do they did with me. It was the blue surf that I could feel under my foot , between me and the already wet sand as if it was creeping in me, no matter I wanted it to accept it or not, as fast as it can. One time, second time, third time, it kept on coming to me and going back just like a lover tries to pull his beloved back to him after an intrusion. It was deeply agitated but still quite, serene, it appeared grey but it was not hard to judge how many colors it has sacrificed to become this and that was the first time I realized in my life that there are things beyond my cup of tea which relax me, to which I can connect myself better . Somewhere at the back of my mind I also wanted to be like the sea, carefree, absolutely.
This was the first peg of the champagne that I tasted in Goa and it had already started spelling its magic on me..!

 The second peg of the evening came in an other form, in the form of the places there ,the forts. You can just stand at one nook of those amazing forts there, spread your hands wide , feel the vast waterbed ahead of you and you will actually feel the force of buoyant without even being in water! Isn’t that a magic again but that happens, just as in my case. I felt terrifically weightless, as if there was nothing in this world worth caring about, no issues worth to trouble me anymore and this became the second shock of my life, I was feeling airy, in this hypnotic environment. It was trying to take me somewhere I have never been..


The third and the last peg of my first experiment with this amazing drink came with a hick!! The nightlife of goa  and became something which I could never forget in my life, at first it was simply a dance floor and a wave of music that was there but I never thought it could be more engulfing than the sea was. While sipping this third peg I had a hit, and suddenly I discovered an absolutely new way to forget everything, to dump your thought process for a while by just being lost. Lost in the music, lost in the rhythm, lost in that atmosphere, there was so much noise that nobody could stay quite, to survive you have to shout and being loud by default kills all the itchy areas of your thought process. Certainly when you can’t think you cant be tensed anymore!

I was numb after my three pegs, done, exhausted, out of my senses and then I found a 6th sense reverting back to me...this was something I was never aware of but even in that state I could make out that this was the real me!!! I discovered an entirely new part of me...that is adventurous, fun-loving, carefree and hates thinking! Something  which my chai never introduced me to.
I came back from goa and with my luggage brought the thought that it couldn’t  always be  the same old good thing that can satisfy you which you think it might be doing well. Give time and explore yourself and know what actually satisfies you ,a cup of chai or a mug of champagne and then…a lot of things will turn straight. Now when I sit in my window in a nostalgic encounter with myself, I still love my cup of tea but the memories of the bubbles of the long and sleek glass ooze my emotions with a gentle smile!!