I am out of it currently.
Love used to special, warm and most importantly, gave chills
in my belly. Now, it’s more of a routine, comfort zone and doesn't give
anything to my belly anymore.
As a confession note, I would say: it has annoyed the
bejesus out of me.
There are days when I don’t care about the heart-balance but
there are days when I do, and desperately want to remember how it felt like
being in love? Because I faintly reminisce that when I used to be in love, it
was certainly a warm feeling. Not everything around used to be annoying, I didn’t
feel the need to meditate or distract to calm myself down. Expectations were not
mortified and dates were not just digits or fruit but moments! Now that I am
out of it, I want to call it a phase and stop worrying about it. I like to tell
myself that this all mayhem will pass and I shall reunite with the belly-butterflies.
But remotely, I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Maybe I have saturated, even tired, of having loved so much
in so many years gone by. Maybe I just need some break or change or just a
neutral phase in between my in-love and not-in-love phases! Maybe it’s the consistency
of the same presence or just the very comfortable comfort zone. I am not certain of the solution strategy but
certain that I would like to feel it all again!
Because at the end, love
should live - And that’s all that matters!
