The only permanent Relationship

Harvard University recently ran this survey where they asked people from different backgrounds, socials, status and demographics to figure out what brings them happiness. After quite a few years of study, they null down to the conclusion that the only real happiness came from Healthy Relationships. These relationships are not just with your spouse but with everyone around you – your neighbors, colleagues, your house help etc. etc.

Recently I also happened to meet this elderly lady, in her 50s struggling real hard to smile since her husband passed away and even after 1.5 years, she cried in the first 15mins that she met me. Her only question with life now was – “Who will I cook for now?” and that put me thinking, this lady invested her entire life serving her husband, cooking what he liked, living the way he wanted, forgot herself to be with his side and now that he is off- she is shocked, what is she going to do now, because she killed herself long back with this marriage. She doesn’t know what hobbies she might have, her interests; she wasn’t even very particular about the food that she liked herself- she was basically nobody now! She also happens to have a son who is now settled in the US and is willing to take her with him but she wants to stay in her husband’s house, dwelling upon the lost memories. She doesn’t want to move on and I feel she might not be able to – ever!

We humans, we are in a relationship even before we are born- with our moms. First person to hold us in arms is our daddy! We come home from the hospital and find there is a sibling too or a dog or a cat for that matter. We are pushed into relationships before we know what it is! And this cycle never ends – till the time we breathe our last.

Now in addition to these ‘compulsory’ relationships, we go ahead and make some on our own. Friends, colleagues,  neighbors. We also go to the extent of giving a lifetime commitment and step into ‘marriage’ thinking it will be a Happily Everafter! But does it stand true in most of the cases? No. People get separated all the time, either by their will or because of others. People cheat, people lie and why – to save another parallel relationship – Now is that one forever? Off course, that too is temporary. They know it won’t get too far but yet they continue the journey. And they spend their whole damn lives becoming the way people like them; they are in a relationship with. And all this for what? – For “Happiness” 

And they do one more blunder, they forget themselves. They forget to make the relationship most important of all –the one with themselves. They love too much – but others, they change- and for others, they dress – for others, they basically do every damn thing – everything for others. Parents die, marriages break, friends ditch, neighbors lie, colleagues steal and yet we think this is forever ever? Hell No.

The only relationship which is permanent is the one you have with yourself, Rest EVERY relationship is temporary.

The relationship you have with yourself is an affair that will last till your last. Some learned ones relate this ‘yourself’ to their faith, their God! For them their faith is everything. Some are too much in love with the art they practice and creating the artpiece will only be a love-making for them! It depends person to person what they love apart from material people and that’s exactly what I am trying to say here. Love Yourself first, people come and go, but YOU will stay till you stay!

Make out to yourself, indulge in yourself, and love yourself!

Because eventually it’s all about you